The Hero and Kehma

 

Then, three days had passed.

In these three days, we’d gotten around 4,500 DP from Hero Wataru. In addition, three day’s worth of inn fees, seventy-five gold coins. And twenty-five gold coins in meal fees… Uhuahaha! Uhuahahaha!
Ah, the amount Rokuko and I ate on the first day when the hero invited us was a treat from him, ten gold coins.
By the way, a sandwich is served for breakfast as a service.

However, the suite is amazing, it’s easy money whenever Haku-san comes over. Even without her tips to Rokuko, we’re getting DP directly as well. For some reason, when Haku-san is there our income from her is 0 DP per day.

“Hey Kehma, when will you give me that ring? I want it.”
“Nn, ring? What are you talking about?”
“You forgot!? … H-hey, the partner thing.”
“Ahh, ahh, that one. I remember, I remember. Yep. So, what kind do you want? Gold, silver, decorated?”
“Whatever Kehma thinks suits me is good!”

So she’s basically saying she’ll leave it to me, that’s the number one most troubling thing… well, it’s fine. It’s a present.
Rokuko has fair skin and blonde hair, so maybe something bright red? Roses or something would suit her. Making a ring with jewels… ahh no, maybe I should worry about how intense it feels? Should I look for some fantasy metals? Though orichalcum and stuff is really expensive in DP, the amount needed to make a ring probably wouldn’t be that much.

“It’ll probably take a little time, is that alright?”
“Yeah, umm, un, I’ll look forward to it!”

Rokuko left the room, squirming a little.
Did she have to use the toilet? No, that can’t be it, she doesn’t need to use it.

By the way, when I asked Ichika what [Partner] meant, it seems that it means [Companion]. Though partner also has the feeling of being related to marriage, it seems adventurers that are close also use the word partner. I’m told that they give each other matching accessories (not always rings).
So Rokuko was just jumping to conclusions about him proposing to her huh… no well, the hero himself confirmed it.

… Yep, it’s that. It’s not my self-conceit, Rokuko, isn’t it that she fell in love with me?
I had no inkling there was that kind of element going on at all though. If so, I really feel bad about it. I like Rokuko’s cute legs.
But if for argument’s sake I touched her—ah, I immediately felt Haku-san’s blood lust. My imagination is too strong.

[No, this is today’s results too. Please look, playing cards! Two boxes!]
[Oh my, that’s amazing. By the way, what kind of magic does Hero-san use?]

Nerune was talking with the hero at reception.
The hero hadn’t tried to make a pass at Rokuko since then. Even if he saw Rokuko in the inn by chance, he would just raise his hand and give her a simple greeting.
Hmm, what’s that guy scheming? I’m so bothered by it I can’t sleep…. grah. That guy’s disturbing my quiet sleep.

[So, will you eat the A-Rank meal today as well?]
[Hmm, it’s a bit much to eat the same meal after three days in a row, so let’s go with something else today. The B-Rank meal.]
[Would you like me to bring it to your room?]
[No, it’s fine. I want to eat in the dining room today. I’m also quite homesick over the system of buying food with meal tickets after all.]

Because of that, it doesn’t look like he’ll be having the A-Rank meal today. Unfortunate.
Well, even so it’s still one gold coin. He’s wantonly spending gold coins, but well, S-Rank adventurers probably have a huge income… I wouldn’t go so far as to risk my life for money though. If I can live as a good-for-nothing sleeper, that’s good.

 

*

 

While I was taking a catnap before I went to sleep, Rokuko came in eating pudding.

“Kehma, the hero is looking for Kehma you know?”
“… Not Narikin?”

For some reason, I’m getting a bad feeling.
I mean, right now I should only be acquainted to him as Narikin. Why’s he looking for me?

“Un, he’s looking for Kehma. For some reason, he was talking with Meat.”
“Uwaaah sounds bothersome… can’t you say I’m not here?”
“No, the usual adventurers are in high spirits saying things like: [If it’s him, that guy’s always sleeping in the inn] or [Kehma? Ah, that sloth] or [That boss huh, isn’t he the most informed about the dungeon?] Introduced like that, it’s probably impossible.”

And after that, she said everyone was treated to pudding. His generosity unsealed the adventurers’ mouths.
Tch, he was prepared.
Or rather, why’s he talking with Meat…? Ah, could it be ‘that’? After falling for Rokuko, now he’s in love after seeing Meat?

“… It can’t be helped, he’s calling me huh… Is he in his room?”
“He’s waiting in the dining room.”

It feels like he wants to talk in public on purpose.

“… He tried to take Meat to his room, but Meat didn’t want to so he’s waiting there.”
“Well, it’s not in his character for that hero to forcibly bring her to his room… However, he tried to bring Meat into his room, huh?”

I woke up a little and went to the dining room.
If possible, I didn’t want to meet the hero looking like this. Well, it’s probably fine already.
In the first place, meeting him as Narikin was just a wait-and-see. My true identity shouldn’t have been exposed, but I have a bit of an expectation.

When I entered the dining room, Meat immediately came and hugged me. The surrounding gazes focused on me.

“Goshujin-sama.”
“Yeah, it’s alright, it’s alright. What happened?”
“~♪”

When I pat Meat on the head, her tail and ears wiggled in delight. It calmed me down. Alright, let’s go back to my room and sleep.

“… Are you Kehma-san?”

The hero stopped me. C’mon, read the air.

“I am, but you are?”
“Wataru Nishimi… I wanted to talk about that girl, however, my intention changed.”

Judging from Wataru’s line of sight, he was probably looking at my hair.
… Now then, is me being Narikin leaked? My voice isn’t even different.

“It would be a little hard to speak here, could you come to my room?”
“Sure, is it fine if Meat comes as well?”
“… Err, well, yeah.”

Hero Wataru was a little flustered. For now, I brought Meat along to the suite. Some of the onlookers were curious but I just ignored them. Something like having a conversation with the hero, doesn’t this look like an event where he talks with a minor character?
On the way, Wataru spoke to me.

“… Are you Narikin-san?
“Nope. I’m Kehma.”
“Isn’t your voice the same!? Even though you said that you were leaving to restock!”
“Didn’t Narikin say that he had a scar on his face? Do I look like I have something like that?”
“Ah—, you really don’t… wait, no, I didn’t confirm that with my own eyes though!?”

Tch. He didn’t fall for it huh.

“You! You’re Japanese after all!?”
“My parents were Japanese, so I know a lot of things about Japan. It’s not like I know everything though.”
“… Oh, so that’s it?”

He’s obviously sad about it. I didn’t say that I’m not Japanese though.
Then, we reached his room.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”
“Umm, I asked you on the way here, but… that Ojou-san too, are her parents Japanese? She has black hair. With dog ears though.”
“I don’t know since I just picked Meat up. So, Meat?”
“… I can’t remember anything about my past. However, I’d be happy if it’s the same as Goshujin-sama.”

Good girl. I stroked Meat’s head.

“… So, you’re Japanese after all, Nakarin-san.”
“I’m not Nakarin, I’m Kehma.”
“Then Kehma-san… do you know the meaning behind [Meat]’s name?”

Nn? [Meat]’s meaning? It’s a general-use name for slaves. When I asked Meat, she said she wasn’t embarrassed as Meat and would work hard.
I asked Ichika to make sure, but it seems there’s a huge range of slang for it, so while it can mean [Pet] and [Hug Pillow], for adventurers in particular it also seems to mean things like [Meat Shield, [Meat Wall], [Bait], and [Decoy].
Those meanings imply disposable too, it doesn’t look like it means something that good. I asked Meat if she wanted to change her name, but she didn’t want to change it since it was the first name I gave her, so she told me that it wasn’t a problem and would work hard to suit her name.
… Well, I didn’t intend to throw her away you know? She’s my important hug pillow.
My profession is dungeon master so there’s no problem with having a bad reputation. That being the case, I just let it as is since she herself wanted to keep it.

“I know, but is there some problem?”
“Heeh… so you know about the name?”

Boom!
He hit the table and it broke.
In an instant. The table was built to be very solid, but it broke with two lines originating right where Wataru’s fist hit it. It looked like the letter [V] breaking it.

It’s a bit late, but I started sweating a bit. Why, why did you suddenly attack the table!?

As I thought that, Wataru’s face also looked like, ‘Ah crap.’ Moreover, Meat took position in front of me while wielding the golem knife as to protect me, glaring at the hero.
This child, so cool.

“… I didn’t mean to hit it that hard… I will pay for it. However, aren’t you ashamed for using such a small child as a shield!?”
“… Including the trouble fees, five hundred gold.”
“Eh!? Ah, wai—, uhh, can you take it in parts?”

To my idle grumble of a sentence, Wataru lost his composure. Alright, five hundred gold coins GET!

“Ahem… I didn’t think that you were a person to touch such a small child! I will not leave Rokuko-san to you! Do not approach Haku-sama’s imouto!”

Eh, touch? What’s he saying? Is he thinking that [Slave = Ero Things]? Is his head filled with pink?

“Lolicons that I know say YES loli NO touch and would absolutely never touch a child, it held that meaning among men…!”

Don’t tell me that! … Ah, but I definitely am ‘touching’ her. As a hug pillow though.

“Goshujin-sama, do I defeat him?”
“Stop. He’s a hero.”

And Meat was going at her own pace. Rather, it felt like she was planning on winning against him.
She’s become splendid.

 

 

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53 thoughts on “Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 99

    1. Lolita no touch, it goes with out saying this means no sexual touch. The MC using her as a hug pillow in a nonsexual way is one of the few loop holes to this.

      1. With that sort of logic, one can’t be surprised the MC always gets confused.
        But seriously, am I the only who starts to get sick of these misunderstandings? It was used very often in the past few chapters.

  1. And as soon as Keima manages to calm down the situation, Ichika will drop by and say the wrong thing.

    Also, thanks for the flood. I was parched. 🙂

  2. …… At this point it is not even funny how he is mistaken by a lolicon and how his dumb way of following that kind of topic in his mind keeps him in that loop. Wish the Hero already tell him it means sex slave. Yes, it means Sex Slave I’m tired of it already (100 chapters of it after all)…. Really… It cringes me…

    Please tell him already her name means Sex Slave and change it for god’s sake…. At least for public as Meat will always be Meat though.

    PS: Fuu… Finally I coould vent that… Though this already was written and the author does not know of this… but still I wanted to say it (LOL)

    Thanks for the Chapter.

  3. Thank u always for ur great work…
    ^^…

    — Rokuko left the room, squirming a little.
    Did she have to use the toilet? —
    Dem, my super spicy noodle choke me for good…
    XD…

    — “Goshujin-sama, do I defeat him?”
    “Stop. He’s a hero.” —
    She really gung-ho about it…
    XD…

  4. the Hero is really a good guy
    I don’t hate him
    as long a he don’t take any girls form the MC i will come to like him
    I hope the misunderstanding will be resolved soon
    but yep i wanna see some action
    go Keima! crush the hero!

  5. This misunderstanding regarding the name is rather stupid. I hope that in the end it will explain rather than go on forever.

  6. … It occurs to me that Keima still hasn’t checked on Rokuko’s addition to the dungeon. I’m starting to get curious (about how many goblins it might contain)… 😉

    Thanks for another chapter! Though I’m starting to worry about you a bit… 😐

  7. Hero kinda reminds me of a toned down version of Kouki.
    Also, you nearly downright gave me a heart attack with this quadruple release.

  8. *sighs* and here I was acting all proud that I was able to get three chapters out quickly.

    You’re going to make the rest of us translators look bad you know?

    Ziru (lvl 50) -> (╯°□°)╯︵ (\ . 0 .)\ <- Me (lvl 17)

    Thanks for the quick releases! 😀

  9. Meatbun Delivery~
    Thank you for the fourth chapter (●w●)

    “Alright, five hundred gold coins GET!”
    Keima should do this more often~ maybe make that receptionist be the next target~

    Ps: i hope your irl problem gets straightened out soon~

  10. Hm, didn’t the [next page] link usually direct to the planned next page (which would at this point be invalid) even when this would be the most recent page? The link might be bad because it’s #99… At least it doesn’t point back to #00. In any case, you may need to fix that. (I could help if you email me the relevant segment of code.)

  11. this is some basic conjecture and is not spoilers in any way, but if you remember the goblin that died, there is still a name but it is just grayed out. this should serve to mean that it is not here right now, thus my thinking is, if he either A. renames a goblin to the same name, B. find a Resurrection function, or C. is able to spawn them back, he will be able to bring that named one back

    even more conjecture.
    usually boss mobs and unique mobs have names. going by game logic, they would usually respawn after being defeated by the previous party. or get refreshed.
    thus going by this logic, that goblin that was named might be able to come back to life, as in it was also not taken off the list and also had its name grayed out, instead of disappearing forever.

    that means it is either a boss mob or a unique in my book

    and thus if that extension contains hordes of goblins, that goblin might very well be resurrected as a goblin king or a goblin unique.

    if i somehow did get this right, all I can say is, I TOLD YOU SO!!! MWUHAHAHAHA

  12. I still hate the whole “meat” misunderstanding crap. I never found it funny in the first place, but the author really loves this crappy and demeaning running joke.

    The worst part is the author wrote it so she would want the name herself. Hell, why would she want a name given by a previous master who treated her like crap anyway. The whole reason why she wanted that name doesn’t even make sense. The name itself should technically be a trauma for her. When Keima asks her if she wants a new name, it would make much more sense if she jumps at the opportunity.

    The reason why Keima doesn’t understand what’s bad about the name doesn’t make sense either. It’s not even a matter of culture difference, but just a state of being absolutely stupid. He saw what they did to her with his own eyes. You would normally connect the name with it like 1+1=2.

    The whole thing feels so forced. I’ve read much better misunderstanding scenarios that doesn’t rely on forcing characters to be stupid. It’s a type of misunderstanding that goes… “Oh, if I were in that position i would have misunderstood too.”

  13. “Lolicons that I know say YES loli NO touch and would absolutely never touch a child, it held that meaning among men…!”

    Yamato, is that you?

  14. He isn’t the one who gave her that name she told him that was her name so why is it saying he gave her such a name so she doesn’t want to change it and why is a guy who just tried to marry a little girl saying anything. It’s ridiculous how long it took him to figure out people would think female slaves are used for sexual thing especially with him saying he keeps with them or call them hug pillows s

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