Welcoming the Intruders 2


The correct answer was just the amount of steps and the matching color of the door at the bottom… but since they couldn’t see it from the top, they wouldn’t be able to know without descending. That was the plan.

[There’s no way to solve it without going further into the dungeon, eh… like we’re getting invited in.]
[Shit, were we too careless? We should’ve known there’d be a bit difference from how [Ordinary Cave] used to be.]
[Oi! Focus up if you don’t want to die! This is no longer an E-Rank dungeon—think of it as an A-Rank grade dungeon and don’t wander off!]

Whoops! Looks like they’re fired up now.
… Well, it’s fine. I’ll just have them give their all to assess this place’s performance.
So for now, the knight order (delinquents) advanced through the [Spiral Staircase Area]. With a hole down the middle of it, the spiral staircase was made up of wooden footholds that sprung from the walls in a spiral shape. Step by step, they verified that the boards wouldn’t fall… their concern is justified. There are some that would fall if it held a person’s full weight. [1]

[There are some fake footholds mixed in. Watch your step!]
[Yeah. Let’s advance careful… Should we count the fakes too?]

Step by step, they slowly advanced while checking their footing. Well, they won’t be able to continue like this though.

“Now then, Rei. Kinue-san. Nerune… Enemies have entered the [Spiral Staircase Area]—Push them off.]
“”” Understood, master! “””

This spiral staircase area was open. Other than it looking awesome, there was another, more proper, reason for this.
As for what was prepared there, they were bulky—incredibly bulky, larger than the width of the staircase—stone wall golems.
Then, targeting the knight order (delinquents) that were descending the open spiral staircase, the stone wall golems that were buried in the wall made their appearance. The reaction, simply put—

[Uwah!? M-move quick! It’s a trap!]
[W-wai—, go back!]
[Idiot, this way too… u-uwaaah!]

They were pushed and fell. Simple as that. The were four people that had fallen behind from being too preoccupied with the fake steps were pushed down by stone wall golems and fell through the open hole in the center… as for how far the drop was, it was from the second above ground floor to the third underground floor. Though they were working on descending the staircase, those four people that fell were the highest up and dropped four floors’ worth of height and fell really fast. When they reached the floor, they turned into red blotches that would’ve needed mosaics to cover up.
The amount of DP we got was the amount of four E-Rank adventurers’ worth… Hmm, doesn’t look like it doubled even if they’re made to be confined.

But still… uwaah, that was way more dangerous than expected. Slaughtering the bandits when I came to this world, at this point I don’t feel any guilt. However, it still looks awful. All four of them were wearing armor, but all four of their heads popped open. Gross. It’s at the level where even late-night anime would hide it with black shadows. Ugh… well, looks like I’m not eating any meat today…

[Tch, so four people got caught huh.]
[Whatever we do, we can’t turn back.]
[… … … No, look. They’ve already turned back into walls… How abrupt it was was surprising, but the speed that they come out isn’t too fast. They take a moment to come out. If we run past them in one go, we should probably be able to get back up before they come out. We can also descend like that.]

… The remaining people: six. As expected of a commander’s character, he seems calm.
They collected valuables and equipment from the dead bodies. What amazing mental fortitude, I want to learn that from them.

“Sorry, only four of the people were able to be pushed off.”
“No, that much is fine. Instead, it’s good that you pushed four people off… Now for the other six. How about we have some combat training?”

I installed a haniwa golem onto the spiral staircase. Originally, it was meant to be a boss monster, but it’ll never get its chance to make its debut as one and is now a sorrowful existence. I had the cavalry-style haniwa golem slowly walk down the spiral staircase.

[Oh, there’s that door at the bottom. Red huh? Alright, guess we should head back. How many steps were there?]
[… One hundred and sixty. As for whether or not to include the topmost step and the bottom one… wait, commander. Something’s coming. It should be at the unique level at the least.]
[From above? Where did it come from? … What is it?]
[No idea, this is the first time I’ve seen that shape, there’s an unknown number of them. Please be on guard.]

As for the haniwa golem, it was an armored golem that was mounted on a horse golem. Its face was a haniwa. The golem’s design was that of a knight that protects my quiet sleep.
Although it’s usually roaming around however it wants on auto mode, right now, Meat is controlling it.

“Then, I’ll be showing this as an example, so please watch.”

Step by step, the haniwa grandly made its way down the staircase… however, it jumped down the center hole as soon as the remaining six people assumed battle postures.
Although it probably could have been a surprise attack, since this was so that Rei and the other newbies could practice controlling the golems, I decided to have Meat, who was already a complete veteran at piloting them, show off as an example.

Erasing the impact from crashing against the ground by using the horse’s sufficient legs, it removed the long and slender halberd magic sword golem from its back in a smooth motion. The large armored golem was about one and a half times larger than an ordinary human and came with a horse golem to match. The size difference came with an overpowering feeling.

Although it was enclosed by six armed people, the golem wasn’t agitated in the least. As though it had eyes in the back of its head—in truth, there were no blind spots due to looking through the monitor—the atmosphere froze as though nothing would be permitted to move.

“I’m going.”

Meat’s mutter was something for us. In the next moment, the horse golem dashed forward alone as though shot from a gun, sending one person flying into the wall. Just one blink of the eye later, the armored golem that landed on the ground swung its halberd horizontally at knee height.
Two of the people’s reaction times were delayed due to being surprised by the horse golem. Suddenly, they found themselves severed from the knees down, slipping and falling towards the ground.

[Gaaah!! Commander! Save meee!]
[Run! —The staircase is blocked, towards the interior!]

As the haniwa golem—as Meat planned, she blocked off the staircase. The first person that the horse golem charged had fainted. That person was being trampled by the horse golem, taking up the area in front of the stairs. In addition, the armored golem wielded its halberd as though to defend that path.
Their escape was sealed off… At the same time, three people were instantly incapacitated.
As our DP still hasn’t increased yet, they still aren’t dead. The other half will be left for the newbies’ tactical training. My orders were perfectly obeyed, magnificent work!
The three remaining people ran into the golem warehouse.

“… That was perfect.”
“Thank you very much, Goshujin-sama.”

… Rather, what the heck—!? The horse golem could be shot out and move that fast!?
Although I sacrificed its output by using gears for now so that it could move faster, how the heck did you just do that, Meat? How!?

“When you operate all of the joints at the same time, with flowing body movements, the whole body will shoot. Adding the initial kick off, the acceleration increases further… I practiced this with Rokuko-sama. This is a technique that even Rokuko-sama can use. You should be able to do this much if it’s a boss.”

Meat explained to the three newbies so that they could learn it.
When did she have the time… wait, is it while I’m sleeping? I thought that I was the best at using golems, guess not.

“Those three people, what should be done to them? Goshujin-sama.”
“… I’ll add a jail to the golem warehouse. Neutralize and throw them in there. We’ll exploit their DP until they die… drive them there while fighting them. Don’t lose, defeat them. There are various golems, so try out various things.”
“”” Yes, master! “””

Iron golems and stone golems were earnestly chasing them around the golem warehouse area’s passageway. There were ones that were in the shape of animals, ones with four arms, ones with four legs, ones with bows and arrows or spears, none of the golems had ordinary features.

[Shit, shit, what are these monsters, the f*ck, why, why are they chasing us!?]
[W-we can’t do this!]
[Hiiii!? Pincushion!? Uwah, stay away, stay away!?]

“This four-legged golem is slow, but it is very stable for aiming with a bow.”
“A broom isn’t a suitable weapon for a golem, is it?”
“Heeeh~, this hedgehog golem is awesome even just by running with it~, so pleasant~”

I had the three use whatever golems I made as prototypes that they liked to chase them into the designated check point.
At that point—

[Uwah! A-a web, shit, can’t see—]
[Tear it off!]
[Igyaaah! Gu—, shit, there’s thorns—]
[Oi, they’re behind us! Quickly!]
[Uwaaah! They’re, they’re coming—!]

Setting up traps, the haniwa golem took a roundabout path.
Chasing them, pushing them onward, we had them do nothing but run onward.

[Haah, haah, shit, this is… t-this—]

Then, they barely managed to reach the spiral staircase room in the end. It was their only way back.

[It’s a different room… or not… but there’s none of their corpses. Are they already gone?]
[This dungeon is strange, and dangerous!]
[I will make it back alive… the number of stairs, count again! Don’t make a mistake counting! Watch out for the walls! …—! It’s that guy, that guy’s cooomiiing!!]

The haniwa golem urged them on just to make doubly sure they’d go. Step by step, the golem’s characteristically thudding footsteps echoed towards them.
The walls let them climb the stairs back up without coming out. Though since there were still fake steps, they kept slipping.

“Master, are you sure? Even though they’ll be able to return home?”
“No, they won’t be able to return… if they did return, they’d definitely have this dungeon become a dangerous spot for beginners… I’ll show you a bit of a trick, so please enjoy yourselves.”

Then, the three remaining finally arrived back at the riddle room.

[It’s the riddle, hurry before that guy gets here—! How many steps did you count!? I got one hundred and sixty!]
[Me too! A hundred sixty!]
[One sixty! The door is red!]
[Alright, let’s an—… swer…?]

The three people froze. In front of them was a riddle.
However, it wasn’t a question about how many steps there were and what the door’s color was.

[… “This is a special question where the answer is [Easy]! What is 25 + 39?” … Eh? The heck is this…]
[The question changed!? … But as expected of me, I know this too! It’s sixty-six!]

The moment that the commander answered with that, the room’s floor was replaced with a pitfall.
… He had an expression on like he was asking why, but I didn’t expect him to make that particular mistake either you know?



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  • The staircase is like this but much, much larger and more dungeon-y with lots of ways to fall. Return

33 thoughts on “Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 90

    1. ” Gross. It’s at the level where even late-night anime would hide it with black shadows. Ugh… well, looks like I’m not eating any meat today… ”
      Fortunately it’s only word not a pic…

      Ahahahaha, The Easy make another appearance…

  1. Meatbun delivery~
    Thank you for the second chapter ( ●w●)

    *plays with a hedgehog golem* i’ll race you to the end of the corridor~!

  2. Thank you for the chapters :3

    [… “This is a special question where the answer is [Easy]! What is 25 + 39?” … Eh? The heck is this…]
    [The question changed!? … But as expected of me, I know this too! It’s sixty-six!]

    They have it wrong any way 😀 The answer is 64 (and Easy)

  3. “The moment that the commanded answered with that”
    Should Be
    “The moment that the commander answered with that”

    1. You forgot another one: (There are probably more, but didn’t note any of them, just remembered this one.)

      in the shape on animals, -> shape of animals.

  4. Holy shit, the Haniwa golem suddenly sounds amazing. Like some kind of Dark Souls boss.

    Oh shit! It’s charging at you down this narrow, trapped staircase, this is so unfair! Wait, it jumped all the way down, and the door above is still locked… and now it’s just waiting for you at the bottom of the staircase… guess you’ll get to fight it fair and square. It slowly takes out its weapon… and BOOM, supersonic horse charges at you! Haha, git gud.

    And the bit about the horse moving ridiculously fast because of its gear-based joints might be based on this.

  5. Idiot can slove this riddle quickly by answer [Easy]

    Smart person will eat the bait by answer [64]

    What should we call a person who can’t even eat the bait that they take by answer [66]…?

  6. Meat might actually be really intelligent… she learned her tables in a matter of days, mastered the magic that Kehma gave her, and even has a grasp on using synchronized joint movements to achieve acceleration. She cleraly has good combat instincts and has already mastered the art of manipulation… *SHOKU* could she be the final boss?!

  7. father into the dungeon
    *further into the dungeon

    This Golem scene could make a horror movie you know~

    1. Ironically, I had “further” originally, but changed it to (what I thought I typed) “farther”.

      Yeah. Thanks~

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