Aristocrat’s Rescue Party

 

Now then, that aristocrat from the other day is still trapped in there.
There’s been little development.

… Unfortunately, they haven’t gotten to the point of killing each other yet. It looks like they’re starting to thin out since their food’s ran out though.
There hasn’t been any developments in the dungeon, but there has been outside of it. A search party came.
There were ten people in it. I think that’s a moderate number. Rather, to comment on it, that’s a troubling amount.

The rescue group called themselves elite guardsmen knights and each were in uniforms. They seem to be composed of E-Rank to C-Rank adventurers to dive into the dungeon. Their DP feels great… that’s about the only good thing I can see about these guys though.
Really, these guys have horrible manners.

 

*

 

Like when they came to the inn, they surrounded the counter with all ten of them like they were trying to coerce us.
On the other hand, Ichika who was working at the reception desk handled them easily. It didn’t turn into much of a situation. She didn’t live a life that eventually lead to her becoming a slave just for show, she has guts. I might’ve wet myself if it were me.
(According to Ichika, it seems she’s seriously afraid of getting surrounded by debt collectors.)

“Yaho~. Welcome to [Dancing Doll’s Pavilion]~”
“We are the Rich family’s third elite guardsmen knight order. We will rent this inn’s rooms, be thankful.”

With that, the simple search party’s commanding officer threw back his head with an arrogant air of superiority.
Ichika just let it slide and explained the fees.

“Heheh~, one person’s fifty copper, meals excluded. I guarantee their deliciousness though~”
“Haah? Fifty copper per person and meals are extra!? … I’ll have you know that we are the Rich family’s third elite guardsmen knight order!”
“Mmm, so what?”
“Wha—… I said that we are the Rich family’s third elite guardsmen knight order!”

I wonder, is [The Rich Family’s Third Elite Guardsmen Knight Order] something amazing? Maybe it’s something like a coupon that saves you money when you mention it?
Well, it’s not like it’ll work at all at this inn though. It’s management is someone from another world.
It’s probably better to get payment in advance, these guys seems like the type to say they’ll pay later and just run away.

“The Rich family’s third elite guardsmen knight order huh… Heh~, the adventurer guild branch office nearby will hear about ya later~”
“Gu—… whatever, the food from such a cheap inn like this would be unappetizing anyways! We don’t need food!”
“Yah yah, then that’s… one~ two~ three~… ten people huh?”

Ichika got them to behave themselves somehow by saying she’d tattle on them to the adventurer guild. Good job!
Even if it’s for a rescue, it’s really effective for adventurers that dive into dungeons.
The search party’s commander then put four silver and fifty copper on the counter. Seriously, he’s petty.

“It’s fifty per person y’know? Rich Family’s Third Elite Guardsmen Knight Order-sa~n?”
“Tch—, greedy Paveueran…”

He bitterly placed the last fifty copper coins on the counter… doesn’t this fall under travel expenses? This Rich family must be pretty stingy.

“Oi, woman. You’re coming to my room later to have a good time.”
“Ah, we don’t have that kind of service here. Help yourself if it’s between you guest knights~”
“… You know we are the Rich family’s third elite guardsmen knight order?”

We get that you’re some kind of knight order already.
Well, it’s a good thing I got a hunch and had Ichika work at reception. The newbies wouldn’t have been able to deal with them.
Rather… the heck did Ichika-san mean by saying ‘between you guest knights’?

Giving up because Ichika easily dealt with whatever he said, he quietly accepted keys to five twin rooms, the Knight Order-donos (delinquents) walked to their rooms. First stage success.

Then after that, it became mealtime.
Even though he said that he wouldn’t need food, he came to the dining room at meal time.
Meat was the one to deal with him there.

“Oi, give us food. I paid.”

The hell you did!
Ah, unintentionally felt like standing up and tsukkomi’ing him. I’d just happened to come to the dining room to eat a meal.

I mean, we have a meal ticket system here. Since you need to hand over a meal ticket to receive your meal, if you don’t have a ticket you won’t be served.
It’s the same thing even if you lose your ticket somehow. Well, if you bought the meal ticket at the reception desk and explained it properly it would be worked out, but right now only an idiot would forget that guy’s remark.

“Do you have a meal ticket? If you don’t have one, please purchase it again at the reception desk.”
“F*cking kid! So cheeky even though you’re just a filthy beastkin!”

The self-proclaimed knight commander lunged at Meat who gave him the template answer exactly as the manual told her to.
Filthy? Meat is way cleaner than you guys. She has to smell good to be a hug pillow to sleep with after all.

“Come here, I’ll educate you!”
“I’ll decline.”

Meat easily avoided the self-proclaimed knight leader’s attempt to grasp her arm. He looked very uncool there.
As expected, he was very self-aware about that. He tried to catch her again, but was easily avoided yet again.
The other guests that had come to eat were whistling and cheering her magnificent evasion performance like it was a show.

“Guh—, defying me even though you’re just a beastkin!? Don’t you know what the Rich family’s third elite guardsmen knight order is!?”
“I do not know.”

Yep, I didn’t tell Meat since I don’t know either. Maybe someone will explain to us just how great they are sooner or later?

“The Rich family could easily crush an inn like this!”
“Is that so?”

I’d told Meat to properly ignore whatever he said.
Rather, for argument’s sake, even if that Rich family can crush this inn… don’t you just work for them? This guy’s just saying whatever he wants to boast.

“But yeahhh… right, your body’s more or less good looking, that’ll work. Be happy, give your body to me and I won’t have this inn crushed.”

The heck are you saying to a little girl, oi. You have no integrity.

“I’ll decline.”
“… You don’t care what happens to this inn then?”

… He’s gradually turning into an eyesore. The other guests are also getting pretty irritated.
And so, I stood up in front of Meat as though to protect her and adressed the self-proclaimed knight commander.

“Oi, you. Cut it out.”
“Aaah!? The hell are you, don’t you know that we are—”
“This inn’s sponsor is the A-Rank adventurer, [White Winged Goddess]. Saying such thoughtless remarks, she might just decide that the Rich family is a very pesky thing?”

Startled, he stopped movement for a moment.

“… I-is that true? [White Winged Goddess], backing an inn like this?”
“Yeah, she often comes to stay. It’s not a lie, you can go hear it from the guild if you want. They won’t hide it, you’ll learn about it pretty fast… so, you get how bad it’d be to make trouble? Would that Rich family protect you if you made enemies with an A-Rank adventurer?”

The color of blood drained from his face. The power of an A-Rank adventurer’s title is crazy…

“I-I wish to express my thanks for the information…”

He coughed before continuing.

“I-I just remembered that I have some business elsewhere, I must be going.”

Thus, he promptly withdrew.

“You did good.”
“Should’a helped sooner!”
“Aren’t you embarrassed by relying on~ the~ goddess~?”

While the guests called out with a few teases, I returned to my seat while patting Meat’s head.

“Goshujin-sama, thank you.”
“What, that’s my duty from the start… It’d be good if they behaved themselves now…”
“Hyah—, y-yes… that’s right.”

While I played with Meat’s doggy ears with my fingers, for some reason I had a hunch that it probably wouldn’t work out like that.

 

*

 

… Well.
Really, even though it would’ve been good if they behaved themselves, that self-proclaimed knight commander just shut himself up in his room and his subordinates are doing whatever they please.

Particularly when they enter the bath, they don’t use [Cleanup], they swim around, they make a ton of noise and annoy everyone near them, and when they get out of the bath they leave food scattered about the floor in the lounge.
Even in the game room, they beat against the slot machine and tried to steal the playing cards. Come on.
When it comes to the entertainment business, just that much is just barely tolerable.

What I won’t tolerate is them trying to take my futons without permission.
Something huge like that would definitely get exposed.
However, that would’ve required them to think a little.

They tried to slice the futons in half and divide the work and take them home.

Ichika noticed it when she was casually going down the hallway and sweeping, she stopped them just before they cut them… those guys, even without their self-proclaimed knight commander they tried twisting our arms by saying, “We are the Rich family’s third elite guardsmen knight order!”
The self-proclaimed knight commander stopped them with a pale face though, yep. It’s already no use. They’ve crossed the line that I can’t forgive.

They tried to cut my futons into pieces and steal them. There’s no way I could forgive that, right?

And so, I decided to welcome them into my dungeon.

 

 

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79 thoughts on “Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 88

      1. Yelling out “We are the Rich family’s third elite guardsmen knight order!” seems to have the potential to become a catch phrase, almost as predominant as Lord 5th’s catchphrase of ISSTH.

    1. they seem the right amount of stupid to actually solve the riddle
      but on the other hand i wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t have the strength that there ranks tell you because they are too much of a side character

    2. Not going to happen. The stupidly greedy guy, who can’t accept he cannot have the sword, currently stuck in that room is the one they are supposed to rescue. Although at this rate there is a good chance that the arrogant Mr. Rich (This is mine because I’m from the the Rich family) will die due to his rescuers getting stuck, I really hope the author uses that riddle door again 🙂

  1. …that end sentence just made me go “Oh boy…” This next chapter is gonna be amazing won’t it?

    1. I’m kind of broken when it comes to these sort of build ups…I can feel how the author tries to piss me off with random fodder characters, so I’d wish for them to die almost as much as the author wanted us to.

      It’s still fun to see plebs go down, but it’s hard to appreciate it as much when you notice that the author created annoying characters, just so he could kill them. This time, it worked out. I feel like this is something that can actually happen, and even should happen in the story. But there are stories in which it honestly seems like the author created a problem, for no reason what so ever, other than for the sake of a joke.
      It’s a dangerous template to use sometimes.

  2. They have awoken the demon Lord! Slannesh indulges in their screams, Khorne bathes in their blood, grandpa Nurgle embraces them in death, and Tzeentch revels in the twisted schemes of khema! Chaos Undivided has a new champion!

    1. The Holy Emperor trembles upon his Golden Throne and the armies of the Emperium quakes in terror at this new Lord of Chaos. I wonder if an Inquisitor will be visiting the inn?

  3. Why isn’t the next chapter ready? Don’t you know I’m the Poor Family’s Third Mediocre Commentator Order?

  4. Oh boy, this’s going to be one of those “hell hath no fury like…” events.

    Thank you kindly for the chapter!

      1. Add “and of melancholy”
        I really love how he unlocks melancholy because of how sad and cold the world is… its so damn deep I almost drowned.. and I’m a Fish

            1. Oh well, until then there’s always this, kuru no maou, tensei shitara slime datta ken, and a bunch of other things

  5. Meatbun delivery~
    Thank you for the chapter ( ●w●)

    [HELL mode activated]
    [Loot: Disabled]
    [Monster disappearance delay: instant]
    [Trap: Fully armed]
    [Monster encounter: 999%]

  6. I can see their confused faces in an never ending labyrinth, or the gore one… yeah, those rats are useful in these cases…. 😀

    Thanks for the chapter

  7. … did they really… no that’s just… wrong. You don’t mess with a man’s vice! I wouldn’t … kill them though. They would just happen to fall into a pit trap and wander around until they had a slow death~ or even give them “trials” so they kill each other! yes… that will suffice

  8. Thanks for the chapter.

    “Like when they came to the inn, the surrounded the counter with all ten of them like they were trying to coerce us.” “the surrounded” should be “they surrounded”.

    “Since you need to have over a meal ticket to receive your meal,” “have over” should be “hand over”.

        1. He’s not really into torture though. He’s much more likely to just have a golem smash them if he doesn’t trap them in a deep dark pit somewhere to die of dehydration/starvation.

          1. depends. if he finds out that torture gains him DP, he could totally re-purpose the egg crusher to crush other eggs for a few minutes-hours of pain. and then forget he did that until someone asks about it

          2. and he would get lots of DP for that! He should definitely make a trap for annoying people where they can’t die but can’t leave either~

                1. If food and water are being provided, its a human farm. Human’s have found them before and (as far as I know) have as strict policy of destroying dungeons in which they appear. If he wants to make a deep dark pit with water dripping into it, then that’s fine, but if he adds in food, then he’s just setting himself up for destruction.

  9. Thanks for the chapter.

    Ah, idiots.

    Considering Kehma can move the maze walls at will and make it impossible to get through it making him mad is a bad idea. There is also the fact that these fools are not likely to do proper research on the dungeon and are really likely to just walk into the various traps that are laid out inside. Even if they get to the room where the guy is locked up they are probably too stupid to figure out how to disarm the trap and would just try and break it down. Not like that will be possible, they will be watched the entire time so any damage is going to be fixed fast..

    Of course there is also the option of letting them into the trap room, having the doors all close on them then dropping a half dozen or so iron golems into the room to squish them. They would likely ask Kehma to go looking for them and he could report that they died to traps or the spike walls that pop out when the trap room is activated. He just needs to make it a bit plausible.

    Hearing how they wanted to treat Meat will get the Guild Leader and branch manager on his side as well.

    1. I think that the way the trap room is designed, he can’t actually put monsters in there while the trap is active without it weakening the trap. I could be misremembering though.

      But yeah, they’ll probably lose a lot to the traps and their own stupidity even before he starts actively screwing with them.

    2. About the damage being repaired fast. Remember the first idiot not wanting to give up the sword? As long as the key (that is the sword) is inside the room the spikes preventing entry/exit are almost indestructible. Only when the idiot smashed the sword (breaking the key) did they weaken to the point that Kehma could enter the room before they regrew.

  10. kukuku i will not escape the chance to death flag them kukukukukakakahahahaha!
    and thanks for the chapter

  11. Trying to not paying inn rent, still ok.
    Trying to harsh female worker, still ok.
    Trying to get food for free, still ok.
    Making noise in the bath, still ok.
    Making noise in the entertainment room, still ok.
    Trying to steal the futons. You’re death meat!!!!

  12. I’m looking forward to kehma going and trapping them all then letting them die together with their lord in that locked room. If he does that, it’d be even more enjoyable to watch. Either way I doubt anyone from that rich family will ever make it out of that dungeon alive.

  13. needs a room like the greed room(for bad guest that dont know respect and is hidden only attached when is needed) but a trap with levers(30+) instead and on guessing the wrong one the room is sealed and filled with nerve gas and little holes line the floor and a 3 foot by 2 foot board saying “In these holes are enough food to last 1 month but only one can be taken at a time and each contain a poison of acidic poison that over the span of three days the inside of your body to decay and rot after four days the room will be flooded with over 500 Rat that will eat the remains of the dead clean right before you and will be repeated anytime this for is consumed meaning eat and die or starve and die. P.S. Thanks for staying at the Dancing Doll’s Pavilion and have a nice stay, signed with love Managment of The D.D.P }:-)>P.S.S Leave my futons alone! ” wow I showed a sadistic side today that’s a first. }XD

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