Second Dungeon Battle

Onset of War

 

[Oh, Kehma. Good with your preparations?]
“Yeah, I’m good any time.”
[Kuhahahaha! I like your spirit, human! Come to where this one is fast okay? You don’t have any time to waste!]
“T-there’s no point in shouting you know!?”

It was the day of the dungeon battle. I was standing next to Rokuko in the master room.
Meat and Ichika were also together on standby… Eh? What about their inn duties? Yep, I’ll know it if a guest comes into the region surrounding the inn and dungeon, so it’s fine if I just forward them to the dining room before they arrive at reception.
There’s also my trump card of having the golems serve them.
With the fight being the splendid length of a single day, there’s no beating this perfect situation. I was thinking about that while en route to sleep with my indispensable favorite pillow… Most of all, it seems that mutual dungeon core battles can potentially last for a few days. A day is a comparatively short-term decisive battle…

[This is the last confirmation. The battle is one day, there will be no offensive movements from us for twenty-four hours, just defense. If I win, we get fifty gold coins, five silver coins, and the crystal figurine. If Kehma wins, you get enough of [Flame Cavern]’s domain to pass the cave through.]
“Oi oi, you’re missing the victory condition. When I exceed the fifth floor… I win if we reach the sixth floor or beyond, in addition…”
[Forgot about that. If you manage to touch the dungeon core on the bottom floor, we’ll give you half of Tsuia Mountain. So, sound good?]
“Yeah. Don’t forget that okay? By the way, how far down is your last floor?”
[Hahaha! Foolish, you think I’d tell you something like that? But don’t worry, it’s not three digits.]

Concluding the confirmation of our victory conditions, I asked Rokuko and them if they were ready with their preparations.

“Goshujin-sama, the golem corps, are ready, whenever.”
“Ya made ’em to be ready whenever… uuuuum, we’re also good.”

The golems were left to Meat and Ichika respectively. Our main war potential this time is the golems. I got a hold of a lot of materials to use after all… still as expected though, strength in numbers. Even if I summoned the rats they’d just die in vain this time.

“So then is it fine to start now?”
[Yeah, go for it—]

… It wasn’t really disorganized, but that signaled the dungeon battle’s start.
It’s good enough, though I’m the one saying it.

At any rate, our dungeon’s spaces connected to each other.
Tsuia Mountain’s crater that served as the [Flame Cavern]’s entrance and our [Cave of Desires]’ fourth underground floor room that no adventurers ever came to connected.
Since we connected at a spot that wasn’t the entrance, we could do the dungeon battle without having to close the dungeon… Conversely, we would immediately lose if they could attack us. That’s the starting position precisely because we’re able to one-sidedly attack.

… Incidentally, that crystal golem was put away and locked up in a treasure storage, so we can’t use it.
And so, we were about to invade with the method I’ve prepared for some time now.

“So Ichika. Open the door.”
“Roger that~”

 

*

 

It’s been one week since the agreement. Today is the long awaited dungeon battle.
(How did I do it before…?)
Ontentoo was trying to recall, but stopped. That wasn’t something to think about now.
Attacking is my specialty…
He muttered.
This time was a defensive battle. His first dungeon battle in this format. The human would attack their defenses, but this was the first time he’d heard something like that being done for a dungeon battle.

“That guy came up with something interesting.”
“112! Is it this one’s turn!?”

Though it was obviously unreasonable for them to reach the bottom floor, they might unexpectedly easily be able to get to the fifth floor.

“Aaalright, let’s see your fighting spirit, Redra!!”
“Yeah! This one increased the number of red lizards to ten times the usual for today! The passages are overflowing with red lizards!”

Overflowing huh, the red lizards aren’t just overflowing in the rooms, but in the passageways as well. All the same, there’s probably a bit too many. However, Redra is my wife and it’s fine to let her have fun.

“… Well it’s probably just the right amount if we’re bashing our monsters against each other…”
[So then is it fine to start now?]
“Yeah, go for it—”

With the spaces connected together, it felt like the signal to start with Kehma just now felt a little flat.
… If I remember correctly, it’s usually something more. Like starting it with vigor and giving it a roar… I think.

“Mugugu, this one’s fighting spirit was dampened…”
“This one’s interesting. It’s a praiseworthy achievement if his goal was to weaken Redra’s spirit.”

However, there was no sign that anything entered.
The time limit is one day, there’s no way he could take his time for twenty-four hours. Is that alright?

But, I withdrew that idea at once.
A large volume of water flowed in from the other side of the open passage.

“… Huh!?”

Water flooded into the passage like a tsunami. The water hit the [Flame Cavern]’s hot walls and floors, steaming… The water washed away the red lizards as well.

“… Huuuuuuh!?”

It was an unbelievably extreme sight.
This is a volcano. The entrance is normally the top of a mountain. At best the only water that would get it was a bit of rain.
However, enough water poured in to fill the passage… Our vanguard, the red lizards, were washed away in a group by the water’s momentum.
The water flowed through the dungeon, reaching the stairs to the second floor with surprising swiftness.
The red lizards were drowning, knocking into walls, and pummeled by other red lizards. The green dots signifying allies were decreasing in number fast.

“W-what just happened!? What in the world is this!?”
“Ha, hahaha… the heck…?”

And yet, this tsunami shows reactions from the enemy. When Ontentoo looked at the monitor to see how many, well, it showed that the whole surface of the map was painted in red.
In other words, this water making its way through was bad. It passed through the second floor already and reached the third floor. The time that had passed so far hadn’t even been thirty minutes.

(… To break through the second floor this fast… wouldn’t he even be able to make it to the fiftieth floor within the twenty-four hours? Kukuku, there’s no way!)

In truth, at the rate of breaking through two floors every thirty minutes, they’d get to the ninety-sixth floor. Almost double the number.

“However, that doesn’t mean he can keep going like that.”

Ontentoo’s actions were precise. He opened a tunnel that lead outside the dungeon so that this water (enemy) wouldn’t pass the fourth floor.
He couldn’t remodel a floor with an enemy on it. He’d already given up on the third floor.
The water promptly reached the fourth floor, but this time it flowed towards the outside of the dungeon. A large amount of red lizards also flowed out.

“… Kukuku, what’ll you do now Kehma? Oi, Redra!”
“Eh, ah, huh!? The heck was that for!?”
“Kukakaka! Just letting you know they broke through the third floor! Go to the boss room, they’ll be there soon, show them your spirit!”
“Eeeeh!? Isn’t that too fast!?”
“Send them back if they’re almost dead, don’t kill them on accident yeah? Just show them you [Exist]!”
“Y-yeah!!”

Redra teleported into the boss room on the fifth floor while flustered.

 

*

 

“What’s this, so vulgar…”
“What do you mean ‘what’? It’s water. You know, the foundation?”
“Foundation!?”

That is, the summit only had a single entrance and exit at the top, so it should be appropriate to pour water into it.
Moreover, it would rather be a discourtesy if we didn’t pour water into a fire-type dungeon. I already came to this decision when we heard the information about it from Haku-san.
And so, on dungeon’s first floor… I set up a perfectly secret room with a [Water Source] installed at its ceiling. Then when the battle began, I opened the door and poured it all out.
It wasn’t just normal water either of course. I mixed in water fleas. Terribly reasonable price of a set of one thousand of them for 1 DP. Since this world doesn’t have microscopes either, they probably can’t even see them mixed in the water. They’re extremely small so it’s hard to use them that easily. They can’t move freely and I can’t even use them as eyes. However, they showed up as allies. Mapping complete.
Though I made some ball-shaped water golems and threw them in just in case, they were just destroyed on impact when the water knocked them against T-junction walls… Water golems are weak if they aren’t wrapped in something.

However, Ontentoo reacted quickly. He opened a tunnel to drain it out of the dungeon.
However, I expected that.

“Now then, I didn’t use it last time, but the second wave this time is invasion by the golem corps. Rokuko, Meat, Ichika. Plan B is a go. Are preparations finished?”
“Sure thing! … But ‘Plan B’? Seriously?”
“Yes, ready anytime.”
“Meat-senpai is frank as always… but let’s give ‘er a go.”

Hearing the three answer, I nodded.

“Alright! Golem Army Corps, forward!!”

 

 

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41 thoughts on “Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 68

  1. Thanks for the chapter. Rats for normal, water fleas for volcano… Will it be mosquitoes or spiders for the jungle type dungeon and cockroaches for dark type?

    1. Ants, Mosquitoes, Flies… Everything that will have the way of the least resistance… Lazy People who made their Laziness to an art-form use every trick in the Library of trickery.
      Nothing is holy and everything a means to the end. How about piping to let the Dungeon Core escape when the Core room is compromised? What about Golems the Size of a Room and doors in them which change position, when no one is in them?
      He would even use Static charge to build a Teslacoil and fry everyone who enters the range.
      Keima will conquer the world because he does not want anyone to stop him sleeping. Believe me…

  2. / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄\
    |Thanks for the chapter!!|
    \_ _____ _ _/

    ∧∧
    ( ˘ω˘ )
    ( つ旦O
    と_)_)

  3. This reminds me of that scene when Sora & Shiro begin the shiritori game with “Hydrogen Bomb!” But this starts with “Water Fleas!”

    Looking forward to how the game unfold!

  4. Thank u always for ur great work…
    ^^…

    Ahahahahaha, really, that [water source] is out of my calculation, trully hilarious…
    XD…

  5. Awesome!
    Can’t wait to see what happens next. Going to be intresting.
    I liked this part.
    Redra teleported into the boss room on the fifth floor while flustered.
    Lol, shame. Threw her off her game.

  6. I though water golem should be immune to physical damage since everything pass through them. But they died bashed on a wall 😕

  7. [Kuhahahaha! I like your spirit, human! Come to where this one fast okay? You don’t have any time to waste!]
    this one is fast*
    (I’m assuming)

  8. This strategy has “Keima” written all over it… It remembers me how I played Dwarf Fortress, always building a giant Water Reservoir and if an Army wants to attack me I flush them in a ravine and collect everything that is not crushed after the looooong fall.
    And now the Colem Corps! … Why do I have a feeling he has build special Golems which can form Voltron? o.O

  9. “Oi oi, you’re missing the victory condition. When I exceed the fifth floor… I win if we reach the sixth floor or beyond, in addition…”
    [Forgot about that. If you manage to touch the dungeon core on the bottom floor, we’ll give you half of Tsuia Mountain. So, sound good?]
    “Yeah. Don’t forget that okay? By the way, how far down is your last floor?”

    he said forgot it (the victory condition). is that meant keima must reached the last floor to get the half of the mountain? (and even with that, it isnt keima’s victory since there is no winning condition).

    or lets say: the dungeon core isn’t on the last floor, then Keima would have no way to clear.

    or am i thinking too much/misinterpret it?

  10. lol his golem was so overpowered! Before long he would be able to construct gundam level golem…

  11. Am I the only one worrying about the ecology outside of the dungeons? Literally thousands of gallons of a petri dish containing water fleas has now been flushed into an alternate world that may not have such organisms….

  12. I’m going to subscribe to the theory already espoused on this thread that the golems will combine voltron style into something Gundam sized to hold off Redra while he sends other golems ahead in order to mask his transparent golems being the ones he counts on to achieve his goals. All while hiding his true trump card of last resort. Either that or some of them are also crystal-based like his spy in order to distract Redra.

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