Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 383



​ Done with putting her room in order, Rokuko returned.

​ “Welcome back, that was fast.”

​ “Of course it was, I did it.”

​ You just had the master room absorb everything though, didn’t you?

​ “Oh right, Rokuko. Do you have a minute?”

​ “Hmm?”

​ When Rokuko turned to look, Aidi held out her hand as if requesting a handshake. Rokuko grasped it like it was nothing. Such was the DP exchange.

​ There was a sound similar to static as Rokuko shook with a start.

​ “Wh-Wh-What was that? It felt different from DP.”

​ “… I reproduced my communication function and gave you the access code, we’ll be able to talk wherever whenever from here on.”

​ “Communication function? Oh, the thing you asked Father-sama for from that Dungeon Battle? I wanna see, can I find it in the menu?”

​ “Yeah, should be able to.”

​ When I took a peek at the menu, I saw [Communication] added to it.

​ Guess I got it as well since it’s one of the dungeon’s functions.

​ “He told me there isn’t an official version yet, so I have to copy over the function directly.”

​ “Hmm, too bad.”

​ “I should be able to distribute it to everyone once the formal version goes up… but that would be around the next meeting at the soonest. For now, I’m the only one who has the ability to copy it over, so it’s like a special thing.”

​ So it’s like a beta test with a copy guard of sorts added, huh.

​ “By the way, I decided that I’d be letting you have it first, so neither Haku-sama nor Jiji-sama have it yet.”

​ “Oh, are you saying that you will give it to me next, now that you have given it to Rokuko-chan?”

​ “What are you talking about, Haku-sama? Isn’t it obvious Jiji-sama is next?”

​ “… Oh.”

​ Although it’s unfortunate for Haku-san, we don’t particularly need it to get in contact with her since we have [White Beach] acting as a direct line to Haku-san. It’s still about the difference between a letter and a telephone, though.

​ “Still though, is an access code really necessary? Wouldn’t core numbers have been enough?”

​ “He said something about how we’d all just send prank messages and stuff if it were only our core numbers and he wanted cores and their masters as well as the various masters and monsters who have access to the menu functions to be able to use it… I think? I don’t really get it, so.”

​ Aidi shrugged and opened up her menu screen to show it. What was on it was something similar to the email functionality of a computer. She’d received a message from father.

​ It had stuff like emojis and a spam button… it really is email-like.

​ “I see.”

​ “By the way, there was also something about wanting to get in contact with Rokuko’s Master about the function, did Father-sama send you something too?”

​ “Oooh… this is amazing. I wonder what it’s about?”

​ “No idea. While we’re at it, it takes 50 DP to send a message.”

​ “Oh, so it costs. Wait, that’s sixty melon rolls. For it to cost as much as ten sets… that’s a lot. Or is it that letters are just really cheap?”

​ “It ignores distance and will definitely reach the person you’re wanting to contact, isn’t that worth it? It even looks like you can send DP through it.”

​ Exchanging DP through a communication function… was that done on purpose, I wonder? Maybe to request things from other cores…? Wait, why do I get the feeling the future is going to be run off of requesting and sending DP? It’s gotta be my imagination.

​ … Just then, I got a message from [Father].

​ Let me see… [I borrowed the idea from a certain email service from Kehma-kun’s world, but I wanted to get your opinion on it]. Let’s respond with [It’ll cost you]. Oh, he responded already. [Sure! By the way, have you been using the alarm clock I gave you?] … Yeah, I do? Of course I wouldn’t, heck no~ … Eh? Alarm clock function? Never Heard Of It.

​ “By the way, the heck’s a melon roll? Is it a melon?”

​ “Ummm. It’s a pastry!”

​ “What’s a pastry?”

​ “It’s a super delicious kind of bread. It’d be faster to show you first hand… huh? Didn’t I have you eat one some time ago?”

​ “Remembering things that aren’t weapons or armor is a pain though?”

​ Rokuko moved her hands in an incredibly practiced manner as she deftly purchased a [Roll Assortment (5DP)]. It was the most economical entry, it even allowed you to pick which kinds you wanted.

​ The ones Rokuko chose made up a variety pack that obviously included melon rolls. It had a bean paste roll, hamburger1, curry bread, choco cornet… and two melon rolls. One for herself and one for Aidi, I’d guess.

​ Aidi seemed to immediately grow interested in the roll.

​ “That wrapping is strange. Is the pastry inside?”

​ “Yeah, it’s easy to tear and toss away and keeps moisture out.”

​ “It can repel water? Perhaps it would work nicely for a sword… how is it made?”

​ “No clue.”

​ I have no clue when the ones Rokuko purchased started coming wrapped in plastic, but I guess it did at some point? I wonder if it’s because she reached a level of understanding where she expected them to be wrapped like that? There shouldn’t be a waste issue either, since the dungeonRokuko herself can just collect the garbage.

​ … There’s also a chance that her body learned it should be wrapped like that from absorbing so much plastic.

​ “There are other kinds too. This one’s a hamburger, this one’s curry bread. My favorite is the melon roll though!”

​ “I see… Oh, this one is pointed? How nice.”

​ “Oh, that one’s the choco cornet. It looks cool, right!?”

​ “Yes, it appears to be the strongest among them all.”

​ “That’s the first time I’ve heard someone say bread is strong.”

​ I’d say that french bread gave off the feeling of the strongest in my world. It was a triple thread: eminence, solidity, and quantity.

​ “Well alright… oh, Haku Ane-sama, here.”

​ “Oh? Could I have the same kind you’re having, Rokuko-chan?”

​ “Ah… alright. I’ll buy another for Aidi to have. Kehma, you want one too?”

​ “I had some onigiri a bit ago, I’m good.”

​ “Really? Alright, eating too much before bed doesn’t feel good after all.”

​ Once Rokuko started unwrapping her melon roll, Aidi and Haku-san followed suit and did the same.

​ “This melon roll would go well with a melon cream soda, wouldn’t it.”

​ “The melon flavors would match.”

​ … The sight of Haku-san sniffing the melon roll was actually pretty cute.

​ “Rokuko, that melon roll of yours. If mine’s a spear, yours if like a shield. Like a small buckler.”

​ “That’s the first time I’ve heard someone compare a melon roll to a shield… You’ll probably like croissants too, I’ll get you one later.”

​ “Sounds good to me.”

​ With that, Aidi held her choco cornet in one hand and twirled it.

​ “… By the way, what side should I start with? The head? The feet?”

​ “You should start choco cornets at the head. Just eat it however you want, it’s just bread.”

​ “So… don’t think, just feel?”

​ “Sort of kind of?”

​ … What end of a cornet is the head?

​ “… Fufu, this rotation’s good. It can twirl and come back… hmm. What good balance…”

​ “Aren’t the patterns on the melon rolls so nice? Right, Ane-sama?”

​ “Ah, could this rival my favorite dish? I would like to let it fight it out with a melon cream soda, so Kehma-san, if you would.”

​ Yessir! Accepting the payment Haku-san held out, I brought out a few melon cream sodas. I’d been keeping a few in my [Storage] for just such an occasion as it stopped time for everything inside. Since Haku-san was also aware of that, she put one into her [Storage] for later.

​ “It isn’t bread, but isn’t the movement and sound coming from this melon cream soda just wonderful?”

​ “But the bread’s so crumbly and good, it’s just oozing flavor! Nothing could top it, right!?”

​ “My, my, my. How could anything in this world top the strength of this choco cornet? Rokuko, could you give me more? I would like to take a lot home.”

​ Looks like they’re getting along. That’s good.

​ “Alright, don’t eat them all in one go though, okay?”

​ The three women kept going back and forth with each other about their chosen dishes. It was as the saying went, things get lively when you bring three women together.2 I just decided to head back and get some sleep.


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  1. Just note that while this doesn’t make sense in EN, it does in JP. And no, not hamburg steak.
  2. References the kanji 女 (woman) and how it appears three times in 姦(cunning, wickedness).
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