Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 311

Extra: Crossing the River


​ The next day, we’d come to the river to make our way to South Donsama.

​ According to what Wataru told me, the river was around a hundred meters across if you went straight. There were stairs that descended to a harbor around two meters above the water, along with a ferry docked there.

​ There was a slope for wheeled vehicles to descend as well, of course.

​ That said, we weren’t at the area to get onto the ferry.

​ “—and so we’ll be crossing the water today.”

​ “Oi, hold up.”

​ “What’s wrong, Kehma-san?”

​ “I mean yeah, crossing the river is fine. But how’d it come to [Running Across the River] being a thing?”

​ “Because it’s something special in this town, water running!”

​ Yeah. Following Wataru here, it turned out that this was some sort of self challenge spot.

​ It seemed he was a bit of a celebrity here too, since people who’d come here to challenge themselves were calling out to Wataru and seeming overall giddy at seeing him.

​ “Wataru-san! Please teach me!”

​ “Over here! Watch me run, Wataru-sensei!”

​ “Are those people with him his pupils?”

​ —that kind of stuff.

​ Incidentally, it seemed that the number of people that were able to successfully cross the river was somewhere in the double digits, including Wataru.

​ “Alright then, how about you give it a go, Kehma-san?”

​ Heck no. I don’t feel like running over a river. Do I look like a sports junkie to you?

​ “Oh yeah, Ortega-san, the person who made the inn we were at yesterday, managed to do it, too. In this town, people who’re able to cross the river are called heroes.”

​ “Heeeh, thanks for the info.”

​ “Which is why, Kehma-san, I think you should at least give it a go.”

​ “Which is why my butt. I ain’t doin’ it!”

​ “I want to see if you can do it, Kehma.”

​ Rokuko supported Wataru from off to the side. Nope! Definitely not!

​ “It’d be bad if I fell into the river. I could drown.”

​ “Oh, don’t worry man. This place is famous, there’s a rescue team always swimming around.”

​ Famous? How much free time do these people have to even have a rescue team? Monsters won’t appear? It’s safe? Oh, so it’s only safe during a certain time range huh. Heeeh~.

​ “… Changing clothes after I get wet sounds troublesome.”

​ “You have [Dry] and [Cleanup]. That’d be enough.”

​ Kuh, life magic is too convenient!

​ It looks like Wataru’s wanting me to do it, no matter what.

​ “C’mon dude, give it a shot. Maybe you’ll like it?”

​ “I can’t do the impossible.”

​ “When there’s a will, there’s a way!”

​ “I don’t have any merits like that.”

​ “Could you show me that you do?”

​ Rokuko interrupted us with a self-satisfied look. But like… I don’t. It’s more like I’d just get another demerit after I fall in—which I definitely would.

​ “… Goshujin-sama.”

​ Meat looked like she really wanted to try it. Her tail was wagging back and forth. She was definitely looking forward to it.

​ “Kuro. You don’t have to hold yourself back for me, go for it.”

​ “Okay!”

​ “Oh, so Kuro-chan’s participating! Alright, let me show you how to do it.”

​ Saying that, Wataru crouched in preparation to dash.

​ “Momentum is important! Kehma-san, make sure you take a good look too.”

​ “I’m not doing it though?”

​ “I’m off! Hoh!”

​ Lot listening to me in the least, Wataru took off running. No—it was more like he got shot from a cannon.

​ Each time his feet hit the water, they sent out waves of force.

​ … Just before his left foot would sink, his right foot hit, followed by his left foot doing the same.

​ After a moment, Wataru reached the other side and came back.

​ “… And that’s how you do it. So how about it, think you go it?”

​ “That’s inhuman. As expected of a hero.”

​ “Hah, don’t flatter me~”

​ You took that as praise?

​ “Umm, Kuro, you don’t have to push yourself.”

​ “No, I’ll do it.”

​ “Kehma-san, see how hyped she is? You should follow her example!”

​ You can stop looking at me like that—I’m not going to do it. You know that, right?

​ With that, Meat crouched to prepare herself to dash.

​ She was concentrating… and then started running. She then began to kick at and soar across the water.

Maybe she can do it?… But soon as I thought that, she sank around halfway across the river.

​ Collected by the rescue team, Meat was brought back to where we were standing.

​ “Ah, too bad. You almost made it across—you get brought to the other side if you make it more than halfway.”

​ “Muu…”

​ I used [Cleanup] and [Dry] on Meat, whose tail was sagging down in disappointment.

​ Gozoh stepped up.

​ “Alright, I’m gonna give it a go! Roppu, see if you can figure out the trick.”

​ “Ooh, good luck, Gozoh. I’ll get you something good to drink if you make it.”

​ “It’s impossible for me! How ’bout ye get me some to comfort me after I fail?”

​ Gozoh was up to bat this time. Again, with a crouch.

​ … He broke into a run, but sank on the first step. The rescue team nearby collected him and quickly brought him back.

​ “Kuh, guess it was useless…”

​ “You made it two meters at least. It’s okay.”

​ Seeming like he knew it was going to happen, Gozoh didn’t look too down about it. He used [Dry] on himself.

​ “Alright, next up’s Kehma!”

​ “Nope, not gonna. What’s with you wanting me to cross the river?”

​ “Because I’m pretty sure you’ll make it.”

​ “I think so too. Kehma can do it.”

​ “I agree.”

​ “That’s a bit much… I can’t do what I can’t do.”

​ Haaah, oh well. If they’re going to be like that, why don’t I just try it?

​ “Alright, I get it. I’ll just go until I hit the other side.”

​ “Oh! So Kehma-san’s finally getting serious…”

​ Everyone took that crouching start so far, so I… didn’t.

​ I just prepared to run off normally.

​ “Hoh. So you’re going classic style, eh?”

​ Wataru said that, but I had no clue what he was talking about.

​ I didn’t pay him any mind and took a step into the water. And sank.

​ I then continued to just swum to the other side.

​ “Wh… at…!?”

​ It was a bit hard to swim with my clothes on, but even while being pulled downstream, I managed to keep going thanks to the golem assist.

​ With that, I made it to the other side.

​ “… Phew, that was tiring. Hey guys, c’mon and hurry up—!”

​ “You’re not supposed to just swim though!?”

​ Rokuko raised a complaint from the other shore, but I ignored it. I mean, I never said that I would run across.




​ In the end, Rokuko and the others just came along with the coach on the ferry. The heck, doesn’t that just make me look stupid?

​ “That was an amazing defeat, Kehma-san.”

​ Wataru spoke with such a big smile that he was practically radiating light. I tilted my head.

​ “Eh? I never said I’d run across though?”

​ “That’s not what I meant! We’d overlooked the essence of river crossing to start with. Essentially, river crossing is for the sake of making it to the other shore. There was never actually a rule for running across! In other words, Kehma-san, the moment you decided to go classic style for your start, you won!”

​ What an abrupt, weirdly reasoned explanation. Very.

​ I just took it as Wataru’s usual, annoying goal of wanting to lose to me. Given that he loves getting played around with by Nerune, he’s definitely an M.


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Author Note:

​ I may have wrote this one after drinking a bit.

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