A Dungeon Battle…?


“A dungeon battle is…?”
“We invade each other’s dungeons and, well, have a contest. The entrances would be connected to each other with space-time magic, we would send our troops into each other’s dungeon, and the first to touch the dungeon core wins. Simple right?”

Setting the space-time magic aside, the rules certainly were simple.
However, the ‘Imperial Capital’s well-established dungeon [White Labyrinth]’ and this ‘Beginner-friendly dungeon where nothing but goblins appear [Ordinary Cave](There is a dungeon core inspection tour)’ are completely not worth comparing to each other. They were too different. There was below a single decimal point chance of winning.

“Oh, of course there will be handicaps. My dungeon’s degree of difficulty is so high that no one has been able to conquer it in over one hundred years, it’s an extra-large dungeon with several derived dungeons.”

Of course, Haku-san had noticed that as well and added supplementing terms.

“… Right, I will lend you 100,000 DP to prepare. I will create a derived dungeon like the new [Ordinary Cave], and will similarly prepare using 100,000 DP. I’ll install a dummy core there, so it would be your win if you touch it… So?”
“… DP can be loaned out?”
“It can. Since it’s not an exaggeration to call dungeon battles contests… well, right, if you win, it’s fine to not repay the 100,000 DP. In addition, I’ll transfer another 100,000 DP as a prize.”

It seemed to be quite the profitable condition.

“… Then, what if Haku-san wins?”
“The loaned 100,000 DP will be returned, in full… Ah, that doesn’t mean anything unpleasant you know? You’ll do it as an adventurer in my dungeon. I’ll have you work until you earn back the 100,000 DP. You will swear to hand the responsibility of protecting No. 695-chan until your repayment ends. Isn’t it normally impossible to have such favorable terms?”

They were favorable conditions indeed.
With the 100,000 DP I’d gain, I could make the dungeon how I like and could fortify.
However, I should remember.
Although one Goblin costs 20 DP, just 2 DP is returned when it is killed inside of the dungeon, so that’s the rate of return. In other words, if for instance 100,000 DP was earned by working on single type of monster, that would be fifty thousand Goblins, or ten of the lowest ranked 100,000 DP Dragons. I wonder just how much time that would take?

… No, wait. That’s not it. Would it even ‘submit the DP’ by killing monsters in the dungeon to begin with? Of course, by destroying valuable monsters, wouldn’t the debt increase?

If so, it was the same thing even if I just aimed for items without even killing a single monster. For items, Haku-san may not accept it since she placed it using her DP.

At any rate, only dungeon cores and dungeon masters could truly earn DP.

“… Earning 100,000 DP as an adventurer, well, that’s hard.”
“Oh my, I didn’t intend something like that. Then 100,000 DP worth of fruits of battle is fine.”
“… I would PK as a monster? Don’t veteran adventurers gather in [White Labyrinth]?”
“Fufu, there is also a derived dungeon for rookies you know?”

Haku-san giggled and smiled like she was enjoying this.
I really can’t be negligent, this person… is a dungeon core huh.

“I understand. Then what is expended on you in the derived dungeon of the [White Labyrinth] will be yours and converted to DP, that’s fine. If that’s it, how about it?”
“I agree if that’s the case, but… what merits are there for Haku-san?”

For example, if he found a [Scroll of Healing (100,000 DP)] and used it on himself, it would be achieved.

“It’s more or less an excuse to circulate mana by using DP on adventurers, is my official stance. The best merit is… while you are trying to be an adventurer, No. 695-chan will be protected under the agreement you know? … I’ll guarantee her safety by filling up the entrance and not letting anyone in, and look after her in the Imperial Capital… normally, that child wouldn’t agree even if I said to.”

I see. So if she can secure Rokuko’s safety, that was enough of a merit.

“… Go on and accept it! This is a practical test to see if you can really protect No. 695-chan.”

Though, it doesn’t look like I can veto it.




“So, No. 695-chan, we’ll be having a dungeon battle.”
“Eh— what’s a dungeon battle, No. 89 Ane-sama?”

You didn’t know!? Haku-san and I then explained it to Rokuko.

“Heeh, it sounds interesting.”
“Well, DP is going to be wagered for this contest. I’ll lend the DP this time.”
“Eh— you can hand over DP!?”

You didn’t know? I didn’t learn until a little bit ago but there’s a difference there, oi.
Come to think of it, I wonder how the DP will be handed over…?

“Umm, it’s not unreasonable that No. 695-chan doesn’t know, there wasn’t a reason for her to. The method to hand over DP is… umm, ummm, k-kissing is needed you know? A kiss!”
“Is that so? Chloe-san.”
“No, according to my memory, a handshake is enough.”

When I asked the butler about it, she answered properly.

“… It’s No. 695-chan’s first time, and since 100,000 DP will be transferred, a kiss is needed so that it won’t fail or leak. It’s easy to fail on your first time, so the safest method should be better…?”

Such a flimsy excuse again…

“Guh— 100,000 DP!? I can’t take that much!”
“It’s just a loan you know? Besides, it’s to prepare for the dungeon battle. Since the game is about smashing DP against each other, wouldn’t it be boring if we used No. 695-chan’s dungeon’s current state of no DP? This is a handicap from me.”
“Since we’ll return it if we’re defeated, it’s just a loan. Don’t hesitate and just accept it. This way you’ll be able to properly listen to Haku-san’s way of doing things.”
“… Uuu— I understand. Then I won’t hesitate, itadakimasu, No. 89 Ane-sama.”

Oh, come to think of it, doesn’t [Don’t hesitate and just accept it] count as an order? I haven’t really been considering my absolute order rights until now huh. Furthermore, it looks like she’s even purposely anxious to follow the order.
Ah, Haku-san did a thumbs up that Rokuko couldn’t see. I wonder if that hand sign has the same meaning here?

“No. 89 Ane-sama, how should we exchange DP?”
“Close your eyes, open your mouth and stick out your tongue. Yes, good, good job. Leave the rest to me. Well than, itadakima—… I will transfer it.”

… Just now, wasn’t she about to say ‘itadakimasu’?

Haku-san and Rokuko’s tongue came into contact and glued together.
Haku-san tenderly embraced Rokuko’s trembling body with her left arm, firmly drawing her head closer with her right hand so they wouldn’t separate. Is it because it’s her first time? She kept her eyes shut just as Haku-san said. She avoided touching anything sensitive, but she trembled and even her ears had turned red.

Though time seemed to move very slowly up till here, it seemed this was still the preparation phase.
Haku-san held the back of Rokuko’s head with both hands. Something in their mouths moved… perhaps the DP was being poured?
Though Rokuko was surprised and almost moved away, the moment Haku-san saw the light connecting their tongues, she was immediately held by both of Haku-san’s arms.

After that, it took around ten minuted for the DP to be handed over.
When they finally separated, their saliva made a bridge between their tongues, snapping apart.

“… Puha, hah, hah…”

View post on imgur.com

The two people who separated their mouths had contrasting faces.
While Rokuko was breathing roughly with closed eyes, Haku-san licked her lips in satisfaction.
However, both of them had flushed cheeks from ecstasy.

“… A little of it leaked, but I gave some extra as service.”
“Hah, hah, t-thanks, vewy, mush, No. 89 Nee-sama… Hau.”
“Ufufu, did you first DP transfer surprise you? Good, since you were held so so long, you should take a rest.”

Haku-san gave another thumbs-up that Rokuko couldn’t see… Apparently, it also meant ‘good job’ in this world.
I confirmed how much DP Haku-san deposited into Rokuko’s body.
… 114,032 DP. It looks like the DP succeeded after all.
It should have been around 3500 when they started so… oi, she gave the amount of DP we got from exterminating those bandits with great pains as a service? Just what is Haku-san doing for income?

“Ah, right Kehma-san. If you don’t make any preparations and [Lose, returning the 100000 DP as is]… something like that is, of course, unacceptable you know? I won’t let you use the loaned DP to repay the loan.”

… Oops, she hit the nail on the head.
If she didn’t say that it would have been nothing but profit.



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42 thoughts on “Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 29

  1. Although Earth should have many example of fine traps and puzzles, one has to wonder if Keima will remember them. And on the other hand , an unconquered for hundred year labyrinth is not for show~

    1. He COULD just use the DP to make an unstoppable single soldier and reduce the hallway width to force a 1v1 situation rather than needing any traps or anything. It seems like a decent idea to me. The point is for him to successfully defend rather than to be a dungeon that generates DP, so cheap shit that wouldn’t fly in other situations are all fair game here, as the purpose is repulsion rather than making them want to enter your dungeon again over the long term.

      1. This isn’t a videogame where everything is based on tiles where only one person can stand. One could send a rat or an insect to sneak through, or have a dozen archers crouch down at different heights to fire arrows into the one monster.

        1. Even with it being IRL he simply needs to make it a monster that either has excessive observation ability and agility(the inefficient route) or make it extremely strong and with excessively high stamina to force it to hold a tower shield in the hallway that acts as a perfectly sized cork. Actually, couldn’t he just make an impenetrable one-way door? I was thinking that wouldn’t be allowed, but TECHNICALLY it’d possible to get to the core if the person existing on the inside presses the button to allow it to open, although if it isn’t allowed then it’d just be a forfeit, and I think the monster holding a titanic sheet of metal in place is more likely to be allowed.

        2. Insects huh? THEN I summon a swarm of sentient microorganisms to penetrate defenses and obtain victory!

  2. In other words, if for instance 100,000 DP was earned by a single type of monster, that was fifty thousand Goblins, or ten of the lowest ranked Dragons at 100,000 DP each.

    Do ypu 10 lowest ranked dragons at 10,000 DP each.

        1. Ziru if the lowest dragon cost 100k DP each (lowest ranked Dragons at 100,000 DP each) then 10 of them would be 1 million DP. i also think it would make more sense if each 1 of them would cost 10k instead of 100k DP

          1. It’s the rate of how much DP is returned when a monster is killed, 1/10th of the cost is returned.
            Goblins cost 20DP and return 2 DP on death. So 50,000 dying returns 100.000DP.
            Lowest cost dragons cost 100,000DP and return 10,000DP on death. So ten dying returns 100,000DP.

  3. If you think about it, she could just send some OP guy that taking on a dragon or 50k goblins is nothing for him. I would focus on making the longsest, confusing-ist and trap fulled dungeon I could. The goal is just to make it to the core. Or I would make a ton of dummy cores (not sure if possible due to costs -can’t remember if it was mention the cost of a fake core) and see if they could find the correct core before I made it to thier one. Thanks to his golem armour, he may make it in time, and/or defend his one successfully.

    1. It’s more than clear this should be a trap. In effect, she’s trying to remove the dungeon master but I’m guessing she doesn’t want to harm the dungeon core, physically or emotionally. As such, removing the DM through a contest makes it easier to ‘fool’ the DC in accepting the loss of the dungeon master. I mean, the DM has to fight in another dungeon if he loses and returning the DP will be difficult. Furthermore, his gear will probably cost DP as well and if he dies or something like that it’ll cost to revive him. In the end it’ll be a vicious circle he won’t be able to escape from and the DC will be ‘freed’.

      Also, that contest is anything but fair. Giving the same DP to a beginner dungeon and a veteran dungeon is not the same. It’s like giving a piece of paper and a pencil to a child and a accomplished artist. They might have the same resources but the experience ensures that the end results between both drawing will be totally different. As such, the DM should have no way to win under any circumstances unless we pull some deus ex machina or something.

      1. I’d need to reread but there didn’t seem to be limits on what the dungeon could create… With modern knowledge of lasers and shit couldn’t he just make doombots with his golem spell? ( like use iron or steel to create golems that could be fit with projectile weapons)

        If he were not from Earth I’d agree with you…. But with modern knowledge and the same amount of points it should be in his advantage

      1. uguu.. cant meatbun have a holiday too?! ..i mean you hunters needs a holiday right~ why not relax and let this meatbun go to the christmas meal? meatbun’s family is waiting too~ see you then~ *runs away*

    1. Same.
      I don’t understand the point here. Giving him 100k for no bloody reason just to initiate some random arc about “let’s buldz a fight dungoen roflz!” is completely bloody random.

      The story started out with an emphasis on survival and exploring ways to invest into the dungeon so the MC would not have to do anything. The golems seemed to be a good way to go about it, but suddenly now we have an Ojou-sama intruding into the fucking story with her completely random suggestion that has nothing to do with anything.
      Evil God Average indeed…

    1. Mmmm thinking of them as just cores would be like thinking of humans as just brains.

      Something like that.

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