Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 277

A Very Beddhism Baptism


As a result of loaning the godly beddings, Maidence said that she wanted to take a look at the church.
… It still doesn’t have a caretaker yet though… ah, maybe I could get people to do it so I won’t have to spend DP?

As I thought about that, I guided Maidence to the church.
Meat and Ichika came along too. So did Maidence’s escort maid.

“So this is Beddhism’s church… It’s considerably different than a church for the White Goddess Faith.”
“It’s embarrassing for you to see it without any furnishings due to it being so new, but… oh, how about it? Want a holy symbol?”
“No, I will not convert from the White Goddess Faith.”
“What, you can believe in Beddhism as a subreligion. No one’ll even force you to apply the doctine either.”
“S-subreligion? What’s that?”

Ah, I should’ve explained starting at that, huh.
I then explained it to her, cherry-picking the best parts.
By the way, it’s not like you have to have a holy symbol to be a believer. As an advantage of being a subreligion, it doesn’t matter even if you use another religion’s holy symbol to pray, all that matters is that you love resting.

“… I see. So in other words, one could believe in Beddhism while still holding faith in White Goddess-sama.”
“Well, it’s not impossible. I would recommend Beddhism to anyone who sleeps, but it wouldn’t force anyone away from other religions.”
“Oh, how nice. The holy kingdom’s Light God’s Decree is so overbearing that it’s frightening… by the way, does Kuro-sama follow Beddhism as well?”
“Yes, the same as Goshujin-sama.”

Looks like Meat’s joined Beddhism too. Rather, I’d feel bad if she didn’t join.
What about Ichika? She believes in Food God Ishidaka though.

“I’ll join too, then. It’s important to have the same beliefs as your fiance.”
“Ooh, thank you very much.”

Follower GET!

“Well then, please baptize me… oh, will there be a priest coming?”
“Oh, it may be forward of me, I am responsible for that.”
“Kehma-sama, you have priest qualifications as well?”
“Just for Beddhism.”

So priests need something like that?
… Well, I am the rule for Beddhism. If I say it’s OK, so does Beddhism.
In other words, there’s no problem in me saying I’m a priest of Beddhism. If you think I’m lying, go ahead and contact Beddhism. Contact me.

“Mea—… Kuro hasn’t had a baptism yet either huh, let’s take the chance to do it. Please repeat after me… I am Beddhism.”
“I am Beddhism.”
“I am Beddhism.”
“I’m Beddhism too~”

Ichika snuck hers in.

“Alright, now you’re Beddhists. Get some sleep, good night.”
“… Eh? Th-That’s all?”

Maidence was confused.
Yeah? Is anything else needed?

“Are other religions different?”
“Well, yes, like being doused with holy water and reciting verses… then doing a ceremony where you wash your limbs.”

I was thinking that people would like it more if entering the faith was simple, but maybe they’d prefer more of a ceremonial performance?
In that case, maybe I should do something based on the Beddhist Scriptures…

“Let’s pray, then. I will use my Sleepsword Siesta.”
“Is it a holy object?”

I pulled out my beloved sword, Siesta. Although Maidence’s Maid-san suddenly took a battle stance and pulled out a dagger, I continued without paying any mind.

“This is a holy sword capable of bestowing sleep. It has the effect of bringing sleep to its surroundings upon being given magical power. Ah, if falling asleep would cause you stress, Maid-san, I recommend moving a little further away… Yeah, that’s far enough.”
“I see. So you must endure the sleepiness and pray?”
“No, you don’t need to endure it. Just sleep. That is Beddhism.”

It’d be dangerous to fall asleep standing up, so I had the three of them sit down first.

“Alright then, let’s recite the Beddhist Scriptures Please close your eyes and repeat after me… Waan Sheeepe. 1
“”” Waan Sheeepe. “””
“Tooo Sheeepe.”
“”” Tooo Sheeepe. “””

The three of them repeated the way I counted sheep with an extraordinarily bad pronunciation… perfectly.
Are they actually hearing it as Japanese sounds? No way, did I just discover a hole in Translation Function-san?

“… Excuse me, Kehma-sama? What does this scripture mean?”
“This is a charm to bring about sleep. [Sheeepe] means [Thing that brings sleep], it’s appearing is generally akin to a sheep. [One] and [Two] are for counting how many there are… Normally, one would continue counting until they fall asleep, but for now, we will just count until ten to finish it.”
“I see… so then, three Sheeepe, four Sheeepe…2

After this, I’ll have to write 99% of the scriptures concerning Sheeepe, huh.
… By the way, since I created the scriptures with [Create Golem], I can change the order of pages or insert pages later as needed.
Right now, it’s like a notebook that’s about as thick as a pillow. Some might call it bluffing or something, but it’s important to be big enough to be used as a pillow if needed. Such is the way of Beddhism! Thickness bringing easier sleep is important!

… Whoops, I should use Siesta here soon. I’d used it to fall asleep yesterday too, so it was out of magical power. I put some into Siesta… fuuuah, I’m tired. It’s working.

“K-Kehma-sama. I’m starting to feel tired…!”
“Me too… Fuaaah, aah…. tired…”
“Five Sheeepe… six Sheeepe…”

Meat and Maidence continued counting Sheeepe.
Ichika was sleeping. She was using her arms on the desk as a pillow.

“Umu, that’s great. Good Night.”
“Kehma-sama, what does Good Night mean?”

Huh? So that’s excluded from Translation Function-san now too? It really is spell-like, I guess.

“Good Night is something you use before you sleep, it’s like a prayer. It means to have a good night’s sleep.”
“I see…”
“It’s important that the meaning is that, you can use it when you’d go to bed normally and use it as a quick prayer.”
“Hmm, so it’s easy to pray in normal, everyday life, huh…? Good Night.”
“Good Night… ffff…”

Ah, Meat’s sleeping now too.
I want to sleep too… as the priest, I have to stay awake right now, so let’s get Maidence to fall asleep so I can as well. Let’s quickly turn [Blackout Resistance] ON… Now I shouldn’t be able to fall asleep.
Rather, not being able to fall asleep even when you’re feeling drowsy is a living hell yaknow!? Seriously, [Blackout Resistance] is a horrid skill.

“Nine… Sheeepe… n, nn… sss…”
“… Good Night.”

Maidence fell asleep too. She couldn’t even make it to ten with Siesta here, huh… I’ma go to sleep now, too.
I took a good seat, turned OFF [Blackout Resistance], and entrusted my body to this overwhelming drowsiness.

The Beddhism Church was filled with warm sunlight. I really did make a comfortable place to sleep in.

Alright, night… Fuaaah.


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  1. He’s saying this in a VERY childish way.
  2. Here, she’s counting the sheep in their language, with sheep in Japanese (a language she doesn’t understand).
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