Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 271



Several days after Shikina wrote the letter, a certain big shot came to our inn.
So, just as I was about to take my siesta, Ichika came to get me to greet the person at our inn’s reception area.

“Long time no see, Kehma-san. It looks like you’re doing well.”

She was loud… that is, the forty or fifty kilos of silvery full plate body armor she wore was loud.
Standing, she was a wall. Sitting, she was a fortress. When she walked, she looked like someone’s moving castle.
The First Chivalric Knight Order’s Commander and direct subordinate to the White Goddess (Haku-san), she was Sally-san, the living armor.

Moreover, lacking a helmet, she was showing off the stiffly beautiful face she had when she was humanized.
… The feeling she gives off is definitely difference from that in-training disappointing elf.

“… Sally-san. For you to come to our inn so abruptly, did something happen?”
“What, my superior just said that I should rest my blade for a while and take a personal vacation. Well, I did come to see how my former subordinate’s doing, too.”

Looking at the timing, I’d judge that as a lie.
But the situation was such that I couldn’t conclude it was a lie for sure.

“Hey, Sally. There’s an onsen here! I wanna get in it. With you, if possible.”
“We can’t, Plume. The onsen here is separated into men and women, but from what I heard from my superior, there is a bath in the suite here, so we can get in that together…”

Yeah, Sally-san brought her boyfriend.
It was doubtful whether or not he was actually a man at a glance, but Sally-san’s bashful look whenever she looked at him screamed BOYFRIEND… transgender? Or maybe he’s a futa like Setsuna?

“Either way, you would wear something as serious as your armor while on a vacation…?”
“It’s basically part of my body, so I actually feel more calm with it on.”

Let alone part of her body, it’s her body. I knew that already.
But it’s weird for her non-dungeon-related boyfriend to not see it as strange at all.

“… Your boyfriend’s okay with it?”
“Sally is strong, so she’ll be able to defend and protect me. Besides, that just means I’m the only one who knows what Sally’s like without it, you know? Right, Sally?”
“Y-Yeah! I’ll defend Plume with all I have, so there’s nooooothing to worry about—! Ufufufu!”

Wooow, she’s super lovestruck.
Plume was much shorter than Sally-san, so he had to stand on his tip-toes and stretch to pat her head. Sally-san being bashful sounded like a rock slide due to her armor.

The suite’s fine, but don’t break the floor alright…? Guess I’ll reinforce it just in case.
With that, likely hearing from what was happening, Shikina turned up.

“Sally-sama! My apologies for not writing you in so long!”
“Oh, looks like you’re doing well too. I read your letter, Shikina.”
“Sir!—Err, today is your reply, I take it?”
“No, I’m on vacation. Incidentally, my response is [No]. I want you to become stronger, that’s why I referred you here.”

… If I had my lie detecting magic tool right now, it’d probably be shining red.
I wonder if she asked if she was here as a honey trapper in that letter?
Also, for her to say that in front of the person who actually was a honey trap as well as the person she was being a honey trap for…

“Is that so… I distrusted you, my apologies.”
“It doesn’t matter, that’s actually proof that you’re growing… Ah, here’s replacement writing paper. I’m giving you several, so please let me know about how you’re doing when the time comes. I’ll give you some to use for whenever Wataru shows up, too. So please send one every month.”
“Sir! Thank you, Sally-sama!”

She understands that she’s supposed to contact her regularly.

“… By the way, who is that woman?”
“He’s my boyfriend.”
“M-My apologies!! He seems so delicate that the wind might blow him over!”
“Yes, so I’m doing my best to hold him down so that he doesn’t fly away.”

That wasn’t a good praise, Shikina. Well, it looks like it worked out either way though.

“Hey, Shikina. Show Sally-san to her room. The suite.”
“Sir! Understood!”
“Fufu, Shikina. How has Kehma-san been treating you?”
“I have been taught many things by Master. I have become able to do multiplication and division!”
“… Are you planning on being a civil servant? Well, it’s better than not being able to I guess?”

Shikina took Sally-san and that boyfriend of hers back into the inn.

Guess I’ll sleep?




I woke up. Aaah, such a good sleep~
Once I awoke from my catnap and went into the inn, Rei greeted me.

“Master, you woke up? A customer is coming.”
“Hmm? Yeah, Sally-san? I know.”
“No, a different customer.”

Something else? I inclined my head.

“… It’s not a guest for the inn, is it?”
“Correct. It is a customer for Master. Meat-senpai is currently greeting them.”

Two things in one day, how rare.
But Meat’s doing it? Who is it? No way, did Misha come along as well?

“She’s a blue-haired girl named Maidence, she said she’s here from Sia.”
“… …”

Crap, I totally forgot about what happened in Sia.
Rather, it’s already been a month? I take it this is about the contract’s completion?

“… Let’s see, where’s she waiting?”
“The parlor.”
“I’ll go there now.”

I headed to the parlor. Well, just next to it at least.
As I approached the parlor, I heard Maidence and Meat talking.
Maidence’s voice was somewhat excited.

“U-Umm, Kurinu-sama. It hurts if you do it so rough like that.”
“Muu, it’s difficult to do it like that… how about this?”
“Aah, it’s starting to feel even better… nnn—”

What, she’s giving a massage?
I knocked on the door and entered.

“Hey, I’m coming in…!? S-Sorry—!”

And what I witnessed was Maidence in a very unladylike position. I dashed back out of the room and closed the door.
Catching my breath on the other side of the door, I heard Maidence call over from inside.

“U-Umm? Kehma-sama, what’s the matter?”
“No uhh, so—sorry. I didn’t think that it was going to be a foot massage.”

Yeah. I caught a glimpse, a glimpse of Maidence’s bare feet.
… No matter how young Maidence is, she’s already at a marriageable age. She’s at the point that I’d have to take responsibility. That was close.

“H-Haah… that certainly may have been immodest.”
“The noises were alright, but you shouldn’t do that in the parlor.”
“… I was thoughtless. Goshujin-sama, I will tidy up immediately.”
“Eh, Kuroinu-sama? Was that so immodest?”

Meat tidied up very matter-of-factedly despite Maidence’s confusion.

“You can enter now.”

When I entered the room again, Mai was sitting on the sofa and putting her shoes back on. Hoh.
Ah, I’m just now seeing it, but she’s here with a maid. Well, there’s no way she would’ve come alone.

“… Well, Maidence-sama. What business do you have?”
“Please call me Mai, Kehma-sama.”
“… Mai-sama. You came for some reason, yes?”

Saying that, Maidence took out a single glass bottle from her storage.
It was a blood red liquid… and it seemed disgusting for some reason.

“This is…?”
“Yes, it is the thing father said you desired, Kehma-sama. With this, the engagement can happen without issue.”

A drug I desired? The heck?

“It’s the drug that makes one’s sex uncertain, [Futanaru].” 1
“What? Sorry, could you run that by me again? I don’t think I heard you right.”
“It’s the drug that makes one’s sex uncertain, [Futanaru].”
“… Makes one’s sex uncertain, then… what?”

I thought I was hearing things, but it looks like she really did bring some weird drug for some reason.
But what I want to know is… the f*ck?
Could someone tell me what’s going on?



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  1. Again, note that Futanaru is a play on words that means ‘To Become a Futanari’.
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