Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 252



Maidence entered the room just as I started to sleep with Meat as my hug pillow.
This setup’s like a man just got caught cheating on his wife, huh. It’s a bit awkward.
I decided to just sit up and hear her out.

“Kehma-sama! What happened!?”
“What happened about what?”
“About becoming my fiance! Why isn’t it going to be you!?”

Oh, so it’s about that. I thought that she was going to ask about me sleeping with Meat.

“Hmm, I’m sure that I declined from the outset though? Also, if I had to say, Kuro is a much better choice than me.”
“Kehma-sama, you’re better! If it’s not you, I don’t want to!”

Maidence said that as she shook both her head and body. Her blue ringlets swung about.
What vigor. Guess she doesn’t want to have a girl as her fiance, moreover a slave girl… there’s also the possibility that she wasn’t told about it being a fake betrothal. It should be obvious that it’s fake since Meat is a girl, though.

“I am honored, but sorry, I have someone that I like. I couldn’t even think about being with another person.” [1]
“Having several wives split between the legal wife and concubines is commonplace for nobles. THEREFORE! Kehma-sama, it’s alright so long as you marry me and become a noble!”
“Oh? So that is to say that Lord-sama has concubines as well?”
“Yes, though they didn’t come to yesterday’s dinner.”

Is that so~… So that means there’s people other than Maidence who are qualified to manage the Godly Pillow?
Yudence, assuming you didn’t lie, you never said that Maidence was the manager. You didn’t break your vow… Well well. How many people are there that have the qualifications?

“A-also, Kehma-sama, do you prefer dressing up as a woman? If so, although I can’t become a man, I can cross dress as one while you dress up as a woman!”
“… Oh. Kuro isn’t the person I was talking about. I was talking about a woman, she stayed back in Golen Village.”

I was trying to figure out what she was talking about for a moment there, but I figured it out after a second. She probably heard that [Meat is a man] from Yudence.
Rather, what’s with that double cross dressing? It is a situation that pops up here and there in manga and games, I guess.

“In that case, isn’t Kuro-cha—… Kuroinu-sama already similar to being your concubine, Kehma-sama? Wouldn’t it be no problem at all to include just one more person—me—as well?”

It looks like she’s confused about a number of things…
… Well, she is just a ten year old girl, so I guess her being so confused after quickly replacing her fiance-to-be like that is natural.
It’s like suddenly being told [You must like this person from now on] and having your fiance decided for you. Much less a child that doesn’t know too much, she’s at a sensitive age. Her age right now is basically when she’ll be the most confused.

But thanks to that, I got some valuable information. I wonder if Yudence would know this would happen?
Well, whatever. He’s the one that tripped up first.

“Well, your current fiance is this Meat Kuroinu right here.”
“I said, if it’s not Kehma-sama——… current?”
“… Whoops, that a slip of the tongue. What I said was confidential between Lord-sama and I.”

Maidence appeared to have picked up on the hidden meaning there. How excellent these aristocratic educations are.
Maidence settled down quickly.

“Well, umm. Kuroinu-sama is gentle, much stronger than appearances suggest, and umm, is excellent enough to be bestowed with the title of ventulier at the age of ten, so I can’t say that there’s nothing better to wish for in a fiance… other than the dressing up as a female part and the name. Ah, perhaps being a beastkin, too?”
“Those are trivial matters.”
“… Trivial?”
“Yes, trivial. For appearances, using different clothes and using the name Kuroinu solves them. Concerning the point about being a beastkin, well, the racists can bark all they want.”

With that, I felt a tug on my clothes. When I looked down, Meat was looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

“Uhh, what’s wrong?”
“… I don’t want to change my name.”
“Y-yeah, you don’t have to change it if you don’t want~. Then just use the name when you’re with outside people.”

Meat nodded. Looks like I got her consent.

“… Is that name so important, Kuroinu-sama?”
“Nn, important.”
“I-is that so? But Kuroinu-sama, no matter how I look at you, I can only see you as a girl.”
“Yeah, well.”

She is a girl after all. She’s not just dressing up as one.
… I wonder if I can leave the rest to these two youngsters and get some sleep till dinner?

Even though that’s what I wanted, it somehow turned into me telling her adventure stories again.
It went to the point that I even had to start fabricating adventure stories so I wanted to stop—but it wasn’t just Maidence who looked so happy listening to them, but Meat too.

“Like that, it’s said that Mr. Gold defeated, tamed, and mounted the brown bear while carrying his favorite axe over his shoulder.”
“Umm, why was it a bear and not the horse?”
“I’ve never heard it told with him mounting the horse and it playing an active role in the end…” [2]
“… Rather, wouldn’t it have been better if the bear was his mount from the start?”

Well, I don’t too much about kintarou’s fable in detail, there’s even a possibility that that bear was actually a human. I don’t know, though.

“Ah, Kehma-sama. It’s about time for dinner.”
“Oh, should we get going then?”
“Yes, please be my escort.”

With that, Maidence held her hand out toward me.
I stood aside, placing Meat where I was.

“… Shall we go?”
“… Yeah…”

Hahaha, cheer up! That’s your fiance after all.




“—And that’s why, through Kehma-dono’s express recommendation, that Kuroinu-dono became Mai’s fiance.”

Yudence gave the announcement about the fiance matter before the meal began. He didn’t say that it was fake, though.
The lineup of people was the same as yesterday, but the lady of the house, supposedly hearing about it before this, didn’t miss a beat and kept her smile up the entire time. The eldest son, Waltz, looked somewhat bitter, while Gierb stood up and struck the table.

“Hold up, that one’s a slave! And a girl at that! There’s no reason for someone with such an idiotic name as Meat to be Mai’s fiance!”
“Gierb. Kuroinu is a man.”
“That’s even worse! I won’t acknowledge someone I can only see as a weak woman!”

I wonder who he decided to tell that this was a fake betrothal… well, at the very least, it doesn’t look like he told Gierb. Waltz looks a bit doubtful, but maybe he told him since he’s the next family head?

Haah, how troublesome. Really, Dungeon Masters should only have to think about dungeon stuff. Seriously.

“Oh? Gier Nii-sama, Kuroinu-sama is powerful. He was able to easily run all the way from the central district to here. Wouldn’t that be impossible for you?”
“E-even so, doesn’t he look weaker than me?”
“Haah… Kehma-dono, could you have Kuroinu-dono display some of his skill?”
“I don’t mind, but Kuro is hungry. Can it wait for after dinner?”

Meat kept having to wait despite the food right in front of her, staring at it the whole time.
Today’s meal was boar steak. Aaah, the fragrance of that roasted fat drifting up and the salt and pepper… it looks tasty with just a glance. Can Meat endure such a great sight?
Nope. Please wipe off your drool.
Oh, Meat, you know how to use a fork and knife, right? Eh, you’re fine with chopsticks?

“Ah, right. The food would get cold, shall we eat?”
“Let’s do the mock fight in the garden after we’re done. Perhaps you may be an opponent for me?”

And so we did the fight after the meat. It wasn’t just the second son, but even the eldest son that loved fighting.
The result? Yeah, Meat’s overwhelming victory.


  • ‘Person’ here is written as woman, spoken as person. Kehma’s implying female, but Mai, well… Return
  • I myself have never read/listened/etc the kintarou fable, so I may be misunderstanding Keima here… my apologies. Return



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