Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 203

Mock Fight


I decided to accept the mock fight.
It was alright to just refuse or leave it to Meat, but I want to test out the clothes golem that I had record an A-Rank adventurer’s movements (Misha’s).
Meat and Ichika have their own way of fighting, so they only use it for its power assist.

Because of all that, we went out to the inn’s back yard. Meat was with me, of course. It’d obviously be bad to be alone with these two mysterious people.

“I’m good any time!”
“Please go easy on me, I’m usually in the rear as a mage.”

I faced off against Setsuna. Not holding my sword, I was using gloves meant for mock fights. Misha’s movements were based on a grappler’s, so I can’t use a sword. Well, she herself could probably use one, but I didn’t have her show me how she used one.
However, magic is another case entirely. Doing the incantation for [Water], a ball of water floated above the ground.

“It’d be dangerous if I used fire after all.”
“This is a mock fight, but it’s alright if you don’t hold back.”

Setsuna warmed up by jumping around. Her chest also leapt up and down. It’s fun to watch, but isn’t that painful?

“Well then, I’m coming.”
“Yeah, I’ll take your first shot.”

Setsuna held up her fists. At the same moment, I shot forward with the ball of water.
I left my body to the clothes golem while I focused on using magic. It was a bit painful, but I had to put up with it.
I came at her with a punch—which felt like it would give me some muscle pains by itself later on—but she blocked it with the back of her hand, pushing it aside. As for the ball of water, she punched out and burst it with her other hand.

“Hey now, weren’t you a mage?”
“This’ll turn into one-on-one fight anyway, yeah? I figured it was better to just skip the hassle.”

The conventional clothes golem’s performance couldn’t reproduce most of Misha’s, an A-Rank adventurer’s, martial arts. At most, slowly imitating her slowed-down movements was the limit.
However, right now, I’m able to reproduce about 50% of Misha’s ability. This was thanks to the newly developed supporting joints with orichalcum in them.

“Ahaha, Village Chief-san, you’re something.”
“I’m overworking myself quite a bit here though.”

Setsuna’s fist blasted out towards my face, piercing through the area. My neck shot backwards, moving my head to avoid the blow, but the jolting movement rocked my head, giving me some damage. Ugeeeh.
My body’s going to break down if I do too much here. Maybe I should just focus on enduring these abrupt, crazy movements rather than using magic?

Setsuna’s attacks kept on flowing smoothly. Low kick, roundhouse kick, backhand fist, head-butt, grab, elbow, jab, backhand fist, downward fist… I don’t have any time to breathe. I would’ve been knocked out by the first strike if I didn’t have Misha’s footwork helping me out here.
The damage I took from getting shook about was relatively light since I was avoiding her attacks with the minimum movement required, geeh… uoh, I suddenly swayed backward there.

There’s a bit of distance between us. I started chanting the incantation for [Water] and—ugeh, I got interrupted. I don’t actually have to chant anything, but I really don’t want to show her that I don’t need to. Faking the incantations is also out of the question since there’s a chance that Setsuna might realize it.
I barely finished stuttering out the incantation all the way and sent a water ball her way, but—


She easily burst it apart.
I give up, there’s nothing I can use. My head’s all fuzzy, I need to breathe.
Woah, my vision just went black. Guhaaah. I just want to go unconscious and go to sleep right here.

“H-hah, c-can we stop here?”
“Eeeh? But it just started to get fun.”
“I’m at my limi—woah!”

I lost my footing and fell backwards out of breath.

“Take thi—…!?”

I grabbed the chest of Setsuna’s clothes as she started swinging her fist down towards me with all I had, throwing her over me.
It was so unexpected and beautifully done that you could call it a perfect [Full Point]. [1]
… Come to think of it, there were moves like that too huh…

“Nkuu. You got me, Village Chief-san. It really just looked like you were falling.”
“… Y-yeah. It was just by chance… Well, that should be enough.”
“I lost huh… that’s the first time I’ve lost in this village.”
“It’s more like a draw. Rather, it’s my loss. I can’t even move anymore.”

My breathing’s already ragged. Meanwhile, Setsuna is still full of spirit. Moreover, it looks like she still has a trump card left over. I mean, she hasn’t used any skills at all.
I’d definitely die from oxygen deprivation if we kept going. I should put a limiter or something on the clothes golem…
Rather, I was thinking about going and losing at a reasonable spot there, but ended up not. Grah. No choice but to insist that it was my loss.

“No, you said you were as strong as a B-Rank and there’s no doubting that. It’s my loss, I give up.”
“No no, for Village Chief-san to do such a great throw there at the end, you’re strong.” [2]
“No no no, it’s obvious that I can’t even move anymore. It’s my complete loss.”
“No no no no, it was my loss the moment you decided it with the throw.” [3]

Both of us still on the ground, it somehow turned into a downward spiral of us each trying to lose to the other.
… For this fight, the winner is the loser!

“Ah, then how about a draw?”
“… Alright, let’s agree on that.”
“We tied then! — Well, I still think that I’m the one who lost though!”
“The heck, I’m the one who thinks they lost! — Let’s stop. We’ll just do that all over.”

In the end, we agreed to compromise and decided that it was a draw.

“Good work. As expected of Goshujin-sama.”
“I said Village Chief-san was strong, but your stamina is beyond abysmal. Are you injured anywhere?”

Holding my body up, Meat handed me a cup of water. I moved my tired arm to take it from her and drank…
Aah, that was great.
At the very least, I figured out that I could use a good amount of Misha’s martial arts. Looks like using it won’t kill me.
Of course, even if I were killed, I’m transformed into [Myself], so I’d be alright.
Should I say I’m relieved that it wasn’t needed? I mean, I really don’t want to try out dying.
By the way, even if the thing I’m transforming into is myself, I still suffer the ability restriction. It doesn’t affect my physical ability, but I can’t use things like my signature move, [Create Golem]. It’s the same if I transform into other people too. I can’t use most of their abilities at all.

“Hey, Kuro-senpai. Want to have a go? I lost to Village Chief-san, so I’m pretty pumped right now~”
“… I accept. I won’t lose this time.”

Oi, we tied!
I retorted in my head.
Meat faced off against Setsuna, her wooden knife made for mock fights held in her hands.

And then a high level mock fight began.
Slicing, sweeping, striking, dodging, kicking, getting hit, grabbing, twisting, throwing, repeating it all. Everything kept happening as even their positions switched back and forth. When I thought one was to the left, they were to the right. When I thought they were to the right, they were suddenly soaring upward. My eyes are spinning just from watching them.
… I still haven’t made any orichalcum joint supports for Meat yet though…
I collected and used all of the orichalcum I’d used in [White Beach] for my supports, but the orichalcum for Meat’s will be coming from the orichalcum sword I got from [Father].
(I finished the research and development of it during the Dungeon Battle’s preparation phase, so I made it immediately.)

Huh? Was I moving like that just a bit ago too? Seriously? No wonder I felt so dizzy.

“Fuh—! Hyah!”
“Kuh, but…!”

Just then, in the instant that Meat slashed down towards Setsuna with her wooden knife, Setsuna broke the knife with her fist.

“Guess it’s my win?”
“Kuh, I can still go.”

Meat threw the broken knife towards Setsuna, running along the ground towards her with her remaining knife. There was a dull sound of something hard hitting flesh as they passed each other. The broken knife she’d thrown at Setsuna dropped at Setsuna’s feet.
What just happened…?

“Unfortunate. Almost, but not quite, Kuroinu-chan.”

Meat crouched forward, her hand pressed against her head.
Apparently, Meat tried to slash at her shin as she passed her, but it looks like rather than meeting her mark, she was knee’d in the head. That looks painful.

“I lost…”
“Wanna have another go? I can keep on however long you want. I love strong children, so come at me!”

Meat glanced at me. I gently put my hand on Meat’s head… Ah, I can’t use [Healing] either. [Super Transformation]’s restrictions are pretty hash.

“Well, I’m going to head back to my room. Do what you want.”
“… I’ll go too.”
“That so? Well then, Setsuna, let’s stop here. Please practice with Kuro next time.”
“Muu, unfortunate. I’ll let you go for today, but I’ll definitely win against Village Chief-san next time!”
“Well, you can just say you won already. I’m tired, so I’m going to head to bed. Night.”
“That’s no good~! We’ll have a proper bout to decide it, night~!”

I waved to Setsuna as I returned to my room.
Ending [Super Transformation], I used [Healing] on Meat and myself. Aaah, that’s so much better.
Setsuna is generally strong. I don’t know how strong Nayuta is, but she’s very knowledgeable about alchemy.
… I’d like to keep these sisters as allies. They aren’t unreasonable existences like the Hero or Rin, so I think I could handle them if something happens. At least, I think I could.

Let’s think about what to do with them while I sleep. I’ve already done enough today, it’s time to clock out.
I wonder if I could use the godly comforter… no, let’s stop there. I’m a child that can wait. It’s not like I’m just wanting to use muscle soreness and fatigue as an excuse to stay asleep or anything. It’s also not like I felt a bit of chills there for a moment or anything.


  • Judo reference: Ippon. [Full Point] is the most valuable judgement that can be awarded for any single action. It also means [Winning in One Blow]. Return
  • She uses ‘ippon’ for ‘great throw’ in this line, but isn’t using the Judo reference per se. It’s more of a ‘goody’ for readers, from what I can tell. Couldn’t find a way to make it transfer over into English as well, though. Return
  • See 2. Return



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