Lazy Dungeon Master — Chapter 101

The Hero and Meat


Maybe two billion three hundred million yen is too much after all?
I thought that while collecting the chips and dice placed on top of the table, but I decided it was fine after all when I saw the table he’d destroyed.
… It’s troublesome even using [Create Golem] to mend it, it has decoration, and it’s strength is a problem too.

“However, that means Kehma-san thinks of her as a comrade, so why did you name her [Meat]?”

Hero Wataru asked with a curious look.

“It was at her own request. It was the name she’d had when I picked her up.”
“But even so, that name has such an obscene meaning…”
“Nn? At worst doesn’t it just mean [Meat Shield] or [Meat Wall]? That’s what I was told at least.”

When I said that, the hero struck his palm with a fist, making a small clap sound.

“Aaah… I see, I thought something was off. That’s normally for male adventurers. This child, since she’s so small, it’s seen as an absolutely different meaning you know? Well, the slang is really different depending on the region though…”

Fumu? That so?

“Then I want to confirm, what does [Meat] mean?”
“Goshujin-sama, [Meat] means tool. Mainly as wall or shield.”

Meat answered even though I asked the hero. Yep, I’ll ask Ichika later too.

“… … Ah, umm… even though that’s not wrong… But that’s when it’s applied to men, for women it’s usually—”
“Wa—! Wa—! You hero—! If you, to Goshujin-sama—! I’ll be your opponent—!”

Meat with the interception! The hero is shot down! Hey, oi!

“Meat? Could you quiet down for a moment?”
“… …”

Meat slumped forward, looking as though she lost her energy.
It’s the first time I’ve heard Meat use that loud of a voice. In other words, Meat knows the meaning that the hero is trying to say. And that it looks like she doesn’t want me to know it.

“Hey… perhaps, is the meaning really bad?”
“It’s not a mistake to say it means tool either. However, with a sexual meaning attached to it.”

… I looked at Meat.
As for her, she was showing her usual expression, but her complexion had reddened, and while tearing up, trembled as though she were ashamed.
Why did you want to keep the name if it was that shameful!?

“So, that meaning is generally the most famous. Of course, the sexual meaning.”
“Oi, Meat?”

This time, Meat trembled with a start, paling.

“Meat, go to my room with Ichika. We have some talking to do.”

Meat seemed to be considerably afraid with her ears and tail lacking any energy as she went to get Ichika.
Seeing it all happen, the hero asked me timidly.

“… Umm, what are you planning on doing?”
“I’ll definitely scold them. And have them write written apologies, and punish them.”
“Ah, that’s really gentle. I’m relieved you didn’t say something like you’d kill or sell them.”

There’s no way I could do something like that. Meat and Ichika are both indispensable existences for the dungeon.
Well, I should probably make their punishment more or less severe, but I don’t want to interfere with their schedules.

“Yeah. And maybe you should give her a new name.”

Though I said that, it’s a name that she persisted in keeping the meaning of from me, her Goshujin-sama. I don’t know why she would want to, but she likes it. It’s troublesome for me to change Meat’s name at this point too, but… I don’t intend to use her as a [Sex Tool] either…

Aaah it’s already getting annoying. Maybe I could give her a proper family name? Then I could just call her with that in front of people.

For now, I have the hero owing me the huge debt of twenty-three hundred gold coins. Me being Japanese? I kept avoiding his suspicions and successfully left the hero’s room.

For that broken table, let’s have a maid golem move it later. Maybe I’ll give it to Kinue-san?




Then, when I returned to my room, there were two people below my line of sight. Yep, Meat and Ichika were dogeza’ing.
The two are doing beautiful dogezas.

“S-sorry, Goshujin-sama…”
“I’m soooo sooooorry~~~~!!!”
“Alright, how about you guys raise your heads? For now let’s hear why you guys did something like that.”

Even when I said that, Meat kept her head down. It couldn’t be helped so I decided to hear about it from Ichika, who raised her head while desperately forcing a smile.

“Well it’s~, un. I knew [Meat]’s meanin’. I knew it. But, it’s a bad meanin’ to say. Hey, you wanna make a woman say somethin’ like that? It’s embarrassin’ yah? Umm, I was also called [Meat] where I was before~”
“However, couldn’t you have pointed it out?”
“… I mean I thought Goshujin-sama would’ve guessed it y’know? Hey, ya bring Meat-senpai in every day… I thought ya definitely would’ve known the meanin’.”

Uu, that’s my bad. I’m just using her as a hug pillow, but I definitely bring her into my room.
After that, Meat looked up timidly and answered.

“… Goshujin-sama definitely hasn’t made a mistake. That’s why, I’ll do my best as Meat, and…”
“Then why did you try to keep the hero from telling me what [Meat] means?”
“… Huh? W-why…?”

Meat answered it with that; it looked like she seriously didn’t know.
It looks like even she doesn’t know why she didn’t want him to. It feels like a child lying to cover up their mistake.
Wait… I forgot since she’s able to do just about everything, but Meat is still a child.

“Aah, right. It’s probably that, a beastkin’s instincts. Beastkin value their names a lot, she may’ve thought it’d be bad if he said somethin’. And that ya’d throw her away if it got exposed, so her body moved immediately, or somethin’?”
“Ah, so that was the reason.”

With Ichika’s explanation, I agreed.
… I didn’t intend to be hostile about it, so it’s probably fine. I’d go into shock if she bore a grudge against me because of this. I don’t have the courage to use someone with that as a hug pillow.

“First of all, I don’t plan on abandoning you. Keep working hard, the same as always.”

When I said that while stroking Meat’s head, she looked a little relived.

“It’s alright. After all, I’m human. I don’t know what I don’t know, I can make mistakes too. Say something if you notice. Alright?”
“… Yes.”
“Got it. Then next time I’ll say it without holdin’ it back.”
“Then I’ll forgive it this time… I’m still punishing you both though.”

It’s that. Compulsory loose socks OR knee-highs should be fine. Of course, those socks will be prohibited from having [Cleanup] used on them for two, no three days. Furthermore, loafers while they’re working. Let’s let them use sneakers when they’re doing physical training.
Kukuku, this is a tremendous punishment if I do say so myself. Only fellow comrades (foot fetishists) will understand how tremendous it is though.

And well for around a month, compulsory stepping massages and a ban on gambling. And the quality of their meals will drop to this world’s standard, that should work.



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